It’s not quite as exciting as it sounds. There will be no rolling boulders, Nazis or dancing cobras. Actually, you’ll just be helping the IPRC pen abstracts, stick on barcodes and add an ancient trove of 20,000-plus zines into a database. In exchange for all that free labor, the IRPC will give “fun prizes” to the volunteers who catalog the most pages and zines, and to the group that shows up with the best costumes.
In honor of the event, WW
sent one of its own intrepid explorers (read: an unpaid intern) to
unearth the worst Headout pages in the newspaper’s history. Here’s what
Oct. 17, 2007
Attempt: Announces the fifth annual Portland Fashion Week with a chance to style Jennifer Aniston in the latest eco-friendly fashions.
What went wrong: Take a look at that debauched graphic. Jen’s head must have been decapitated from her original body, then super-glued to this one. Talk about proportional. Also note, the lovely, sometimes psycho Jen is referred to as “the former Mrs. [Brad] Pitt.” You never really shake your ex.
Dec. 23, 2009
Attempt: A coloring page to beautify your apartment for the holidays.
What went wrong: A coloring page
that makes your apartment look like a kindergarten class. Might as well
throw in some intricate paper snowflakes and a popcorn garland. The
directions are written for a kindergartner as well—is there a prominent
population of WW readers under age 10? And just look at the detail on the fireplace. Nobody has time for that.
Nov. 9, 2011
Attempt: Braco (pronounced BRAHT-zoh) is a Croatian gaze-healer who travels the world staring at people until their pain and sadness disappears.
What went wrong: I don’t know if
it’s the fact that Braco appears God-like floating in midair surrounded
by mountains that gives me the creeps, or if it’s his Billy Ray Cyrus
mullet. Probably both. I have so many questions about Braco, but I hope
he’s never floating around to answer them.
Feb. 6, 2013
Attempt: Ernie Button’s Cerealism art show featured wild landscapes made of children’s breakfast cereal. We asked Button to make a companion piece using milk products.
What went wrong: I think I puked a little in my mouth. And it looks like someone else did, too.
GO: Raiders of the Lost Archives is at the Independent Publishing Resource Center, 1001 SE Division St., 827-0249, iprc.org. 10 am Saturday-10 am Sunday, March 22-23.