Crunch, Boom and Planet Fitness

You can get a two-hour spiel on free weights, a contact testosterone high and five pounds of chemicalized protein dust any day, any time, at a range of chrome-plated fitness chains. A few might actually be worth the sweat. They're a little far from the city center (Beaverton, Gresham and Division), but Crunch's (crunch.com) three locations offer $10-a-month memberships (plus a $30 annual fee) by keeping things spartan. There's an army of treadmills and weight machines but no frills. No pool, sauna or courts, but they do boast unlimited tanning and fitness classes. Similarly named Boom (boomfitnesspdx.com) grants 24-hour access for $12.95 a month if you commit to a year and don't mind driving to Bridgeport or Tanasbourne. At Planet Fitness (planetfitness.com) $10 gets you a T-shirt, pizza Mondays, bagel Tuesdays (irony?) and "no gymtimidation." It's $10 more a month for half-price cooler drinks, unlimited hydromassage, and haircuts.

Yoga...

Enlightenment is expensive—at least the Lululemon-clad version that runs around $17 per class at many studios. But for less affluent down-doggers, good news: Yoga is built on tenets such as asteya (nonstealing), brahmacharya (moderation), and kula (community), so many studios do their karma yoga by offering cheap classes. Assuming you've already used every first-timer deal, and don't want to abuse the donation system at Yoga on Yamhill, you could still practice at a different Stumptown studio every day for a week for under $35. It's even cheaper if you repeat. Ready to go? Namaste! (One disclaimer: As a yoga instructor, I've worked for some of these studios and practiced at most.)

  1. Mondays: Early happy hour (4 pm) at Southeast’s brightly-hued BhaktiShop (2500 SE 26th Ave., 244-0108, thebhaktishop.com) is $5. They also offer a Hard Times scholarship, cheaper early-morning classes, and occasional sing-along kirtan.
  1. Tuesdays: Yoga Union (2043 SE 50th Ave., 235-9642, yogaunioncwc.com) has free beginner and meditation classes almost daily; 2 pm yoga basics classes are cheap or free every weekday.
  1. Wednesdays: Awkward midafternoon classes (3 pm) at the Pearl’s YoYoYogi (1306 NW Hoyt St., 688-5120, yoyoyogi.com) are only $8 since the teachers are “blossoming yogis” finishing up their teacher training.
  1. Thursdays: North Portland Yoga’s (55 NE Farragut St., 928-7473, northportlandyoga.com) hour-and-a-half Hatha Flow class (5:45 pm) is cheaper than thirsty Thursday at $7 and includes meditation for good measure.
  1. Fridays: Happy Hour Vinyasa Flow pre-tox detoxes the weekend for $10 at 5:45 pm at Sellwood Yoga (7970 SE 13th Ave., 575-9982, sellwoodyoga.com) every Friday.
  1. Saturdays: Nothing beats free at the Pearl’s newest yoga spot (it’s next to the newest climbing gym, Planet Granite). At 5 pm, PodFlow at YogaPod (1335 NW 14th Ave., 841-5870, portland.yogapodcommunity.com) is lightly heated. Expect to sweat.
  1. Sundays: “Awakening the Power of Spirit,” aka Community Yoga Flow, costs $5 at 9:30 am at the Movement Center (1021 NE 33rd Ave., 231-0383, themovementcenter.com).