March 15th, 2012 7:00 am | by AARON MESH News | Posted In: City Hall, Politics

Mayoral Madness: Bud Clark Regional

Welcome to our second day of better government through bracketology!

Befitting its Reuben-making namesake, the Bud Clark Regional is foodie-heavy: four cooks, a doughnut impresario and one candidate who may someday become a meal. Plus Paul Bunyan, who we understand once ate a whole mess of flapjacks.

If you haven't voted in Wednesday's bracket, click here. You can find the full bracket here.

Voting in this regional closes 8 pm on Monday, March 19.

1. Tres Shannon, Voodoo Doughnut scamp
16. Nong Poonsukwattana, Khao man gai artist

TAINTED ELECTION! Mayoral Madness has its first scandal. WW has learned via public records that Tres Shannon, the #1 seed in the Bud Clark bracket, has previously sought political office, running for mayor in 1994 and a City Council seat in 1996. When confronted with this evidence (actually, he brought it up in a very nice letter), Shannon withdrew his name from the race Wednesday night. "I am not a viable contender," he wrote WW. "Thank you for your consideration. Go Packy the elephant and go Patty from Magic, let's party!" WW has replaced him in the bracket with a bacon maple bar.

Nong Poonsukwattana runs Nong's Khao Man Gai, perhaps the most passionately adored food cart in town. She has never sought office.

8. Andy Ricker, Cooks delicious wings
9. Gabriel Rucker, Cooks delicious pigeons

They've both won James Beard awards, often called the Oscars of food even though that sounds like Oscars you can eat. Ricker makes Thai at various Pok Poks. Rucker leans French at Le Pigeon and Little Bird. People at City Hall already eat at Little Bird a lot, so that could give Rucker an edge?

5. Paul Bunyan statue, He’s tall
12. Joan of Arc statue, She’s shiny

Paul's a pretty heavy favorite here, just because he's so darn goofy, even though his tall tale was not set in Oregon. The Maid of Orleans isn't from here either—will these hipster kids stop moving to Portland already?—but at one point the French were just handing out statues like party favors.

4. Sallie Ford, Big-voiced crooner
13. Roger the Rabbit, Kidnapped stud bunny

Best New Band 2010 singer Sallie be-bops around the indie nightlife, and though we've never seen her randomly break into a Shirley Temple dance at a bar, it is the belief that she might that gives her such mayoral potential. Roger is a breeder rabbit, briefly held hostage by people who thought he might be butchered. He would not make a good mayor, to be honest.

6. Liv Warfield, Sings with Prince
11. Erin Janssens, First female fire chief

We were going to make a joke about Warfield being so ablaze this year that somebody needs to call the Fire Department, but that seemed insufficiently respectful. These are people breaking barriers. We think the touring-with-Prince thing is crazier, but either way there's probably a Dalmatian wandering in the background.

3. Emily Powell, Bookstore boss
14. Gert Boyle, Columbia Sportswear big boss

Powell is heir to, well, Powell's—and as CEO of the City of Books, she's got a reputation as being somebody you do not want to eff with. Boyle sat on top of a moving car in a snowstorm to prove how warm her jackets are. In short, they both think you're lily-livered, and this meeting is over.

7. Jon Raymond, Screenwriter-about-town
10. May Barruel, Nationale founder

Everybody loves Raymond, as the line goes, and few Portlanders have any complaints about Old Joy or Wendy and Lucy, the movies he wrote for Kelly Reichardt. Barruel founded Nationale, which imports pretty and/or delicious French things. That's right: She actually founded a store.

2. Daniel Baldwin, A Baldwin—’nuff said
15. Reo Varnado, Snoop’s rib-cooking uncle

Two chill dudes with famous relatives. Varnado started Reo's Ribs, then moved it to the unlikely soul-cooking destination of John's Landing. If Baldwin is elected mayor, he promises to move the entire city to Mexico, because Mexico is awesome and that's where they're making all the big movies now!!!!!!

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