Portland has a lot of pride—like that guy in corduroy pants waving a rainbow umbrella outside Powell's in the past week. That's fucking passion. This week, Portland's Pride season kicks off and continues with 11 days of events across the city. "It's about gay-straight alliance and everybody fucking everybody," says Alicia J. Rose, creator of the comedy series The Benefits of Gusbandry. You can binge-watch Rose's show Saturday at WW's Pride party, or check out these other events. Don't forget your rainbow umbrella.
Thursday, June 9
Key Bank Kickoff Party
An extravaganza of food carts, drinks and the drum-heavy punk raps of Bomb Ass Pussy start Pride season, with Sir Cupcake's troupe of transgender and queer circus performers in a retro variety show with curled mustaches and pinstripe trousers. My Bartender, 2305 SE 9th Ave. 8 pm. $10 advance, $15 at the door.
Friday, June 10
Queer Comedy Showcase
Headliner DeAnne Smith (of HBO's Funny as Hell) is a Canadian comic who strums a ukulele, sports the style of a Green Day fanboy and joked about abortion on Craig Ferguson. Portlanders Belinda Carroll and Whitney Streed will back her up. Curious Comedy Theater, 5225 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd. 7 and 9:30 pm. $15 advance, $20 at the door.
Saturday, June 11
The Benefits of Gusbandry Screening Party
Entertainment Weekly and The New York Times just called out Portlander Alicia J. Rose's comedy series, and you could watch the Broad City-esque show for free on YouTube. Or you can join WW, Belinda Carroll, Rose and the show's cast for a free binge-watch party. Clinton Street Theater, 2522 SE Clinton St. 8 pm. Free. 21+.
Thursday June 16
Let your beard frolic unwaxed, and sprinkle glitter on your cellulite for the most body-positive dance party of the Pride season. Stag—the best gay party spot in Portland, according to my Whole Foods clerk—features 15 dancers of all shapes, sizes and grooming patterns for a night of sweaty go-go dancing. Stag, 317 NW Broadway. 8 pm. $8 advance, $10 at the door. 21+.
Slant: Live Queer Storytelling
Slant gives you a more mellow and heady way to enjoy Pride, with seven-minute talks from six speakers. The patio and killer burgers at Bar Bar are a good alternative to sweating at Stag. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave. 8 pm. $12 advance, $14 at the door. 21+.
Friday, June 17
Rare Vintage Burlesque: Love and Pride
Crush, Portland's love-for-everyone bar and burlesque venue, is going all out for Pride. The show features Fannie Fuller—an old-school glamour maven who made her start in a wet, white slip in San Francisco—and Portland's longest-running burlesque MC, Zora Phoenix. Crush Bar, 1400 SE Morrison St. 9 pm. $10 advance, $12 at the door, $15 VIP table. 21+.
Saturday, June 18
Portland Pride Festival
This is it, folks. Like a state fair with fewer sheep and more flair, Saturday offers the most fun, including the Trans Pride March (3:30 pm at 744 SW Ankeny St.) and the Dyke March (6 pm at Tom McCall Waterfront Park). Tom McCall Waterfront Park, Southwest Naito Parkway between Pine Street and the Morrison Bridge. Noon-6 pm Saturday-Sunday, June 18-19. $7.
When New York passed marriage equality legislation in 2011, Portlanders, living in a state where same-sex marriage was still illegal, launched Gaylabration in protest. Now the biggest official dance party of Pride season, it's nonstop dirty pop radio edits and onstage dancers from Lyfe Dance Company, some of whom have backed Britney herself. Crystal Ballroom, 332 W Burnside St. 10 pm-2 am. $19.90-$49.99. 21+.
Sunday, June 19
The rainbow season ends in Portland's dark and dirty basement dance club with a Blow Pony party hosted by Trixie Mattel and her epic eyelashes. Dance with the Homo GoGo's, bearded men in sequined crop tops, and a crowd wearing fox tails or striped spandex. Don't cry because it's over—take a selfie with Trixie to prove it happened. Euphoria Nightclub, 315 SE 3rd Ave. 7 pm. $12-$25. 21+.