1. Murderboat NYE Warehouse Party: I'm on a Boat
This New Year's Eve, Portland's hottest club is Murderboat. This place has everything: DJs, ball pits, spin the bottle, a giant teddy bear chill room, a 23-foot sailboat. Don't even bother to look for bouncers. Instead, the venue will be guarded by a dozen hobo pirates allowing entry in exchange for PBR. Could there be more? Yes. Acrobatic mermaids swinging from the ceiling and gym scooters—those wheeled contraptions you used to slam into other kids with during gym class. Watershed PDX, 5040 SE Milwaukie Ave. 9 pm. $40-$59.
2. Take Back the Future
Holocene regularly feels like a warehouse party if warehouse parties were kind of cozy. So a New Year's Eve party hosted by Fountaine—one of the most high-energy performers in Portland hip-hop—will definitely be a crowded, sweaty, arty rager. Plus, it will be hosted by artist and comedian Carlos the Rollerblader, and include DJ sets from some of the best beat makers in town. Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison St., holocene.org. 8 pm. $20. 21+.
3. Kelly's Olympian NYE
Kelly's has assembled a lineup of up-and-coming MCs who are also some of the city's most reliably energetic performers. That includes KayelaJ, whose crowd work is as impeccable as her lyricism, the reliably rambunctious Youngshirtmayne and DJ Verbz, who has helped turned Kelly's into a hot spot for rising local hip-hop with monthly showcase the Thesis. Kelly's Olympian, 426 SW Washington St., kellysolympian.com. 9 pm. Free. 21+.
Queer-centric hip-hop dance party Cake is one of the best places to see local MCs all year-round. The New Year's Eve edition is going to be extra turnt—though the party has not named the event's "special guest," a photo of the indomitable Maarquii is on the poster. But with resident DJ Automaton behind the deck and Last Artful Dodgr as the host, it's already worthwhile. Killingsworth Dynasty, 832 N Killingsworth St., killingsworthdynasty.com. $10. 21+.
5. DJ Anjali & the Incredible Kid's New Year's Eve Dance Party Extravaganza
Portland's hottest Bollywood DJ tandem has electrified the Portland club scene for 18 years, and their NYE parties are particularly legendary. Along with a slew of other guest performers, they will light up the dance floor with wild South Asian beats. Wonder Ballroom, 128 NE Russell St., wonderballroom.com. 9 pm. $29.50-$35 advance, $40 day of show. 21+.
6. Lumbertwink PDX New Year's Eve
Lumbertwink parties are the epicenter of the Pacific Northwest's beard-growing, flannel-wearing gay subculture. All genders can be lumbertwinks, but those who come wearing plaid or a union suit get half off the cover charge. Tonic Lounge, 3100 NE Sandy Blvd., tonicloungeportland.com. 9 pm. $20. 21+.
7. Summer Cannibals
Portland's Summer Cannibals aren't quite a party band, but their swaggering rock 'n' roll is ideal for anyone who'd rather nurse a tallboy instead of downing shots of Tito's leading up to midnight. But if you do want to move your feet, DJs Títa and Mami Miami are capable of getting even Doug Fir's too-cool crowd bumping. Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., dougfirlounge.com. 9 pm. $18 advance, $20 day of show. 21+.
8. In the Cooky Jar
DJ Cooky Parker's monthly party is a sweaty monument to vintage R&B, soul and everything that's conducive to twisting and shouting. For the first half of his New Year's Eve party, Cooky and his co-DJs will spin a best-of set of their favorite finds from this past year. After midnight, they'll switch to all funk and boogie. East Portland Eagle Lodge 3256, 4904 SE Hawthorne Blvd., pdxeagles.org. 8 pm. $10.
9. Bunk Bar's Battle of the Decades III
Everyone in Portland is stuck in a different decade. Now is the chance to prove which one is best. As they've done the past three New Year's Eves, members of Sleater-Kinney, the Jicks, Blitzen Trapper and other venerable Portland bands get together to play songs from the '50s through the '80s. Bunk Bar, 1028 SE Water Ave., bunksandwiches.com. 8 pm. $30. 21+.
10. Brew Year's Eve Party with Steel Panther
On most other nights of the year, it'd be baffling to go see a Steel Panther concert when you could just stay at home and watch This Is Spinal Tap. But the glory of seeing a parody metal band on New Year's Eve is that they'll have no shame about hamming it up and taking it way, way over the top. Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside St., crystalballroompdx.com. 8 pm. $42.50 advance, $45 day of show.
11. Railroad Earth, the Shook Twins
Sure, a bluegrass jam band isn't everyone's choice for a New Year's party, but if you'd rather groove gently into 2019, Railroad Earth is one of your best options. Plus, they're sharing the bill with local folk darling the Shook Twins. Roseland Theater, 8 NW 6th Ave., roselandpdx.com. 8 pm. $25. 21+.
12. Brizzleman, Fountaine
The Alberta Street Pub isn't typically an R&B venue, but for New Year's Eve, the pub is turning up somewhat with a pair of local artists—multi-instrumentalist Brizzleman, who melds funk, hip-hop and psych pop, and rapper Fountaine, who is somehow also performing at Holocene's New Year's Eve party. Alberta Street Pub, 1036 NE Alberta St., albertastreetpub.com. 9 pm. $10 advance, $12 day of show. 21+.
13. Rhinestone Bash
Are you certain you have the sparkliest outfit in town but nowhere to show it off? Don't be afraid to leave a trail of glitter as you two-step across the dance floor to local stalwart Caleb Klauder and his country band. Spare Room, 4830 NE 42nd Ave., spareroomrestaurantandlounge.com. 8 pm. $20. 21+.
14. pFriem Presents New Year's Eve Celebration at Mount Hood Meadows
You can start 2019 by hurtling down Mount Hood on a snowboard, or just hang at the bar. Whatever your speed, Mount Hood Meadows can accommodate with its New Year's Eve party, which features lifts running past midnight, a sprawling buffet and fireworks. Mount Hood Meadows, 14040 Highway 35, Mount Hood, skihood.com. 6 pm. $45-$99.
15. Curious Comedy NYE Extravaganza
New Year's Eve can be a crapshoot. Do you splurge on an event and brave the crowds, sweat and drunken, end-of-night tears, or just ignore the whole thing and stay home? Curious Comedy is offering a middle option for anyone who wants to spend the evening laughing without a lot of hassle—or Ryan Seacrest. The NYE Extravaganza will spoil you with a whopping four hours of performances. Curious Comedy Theater, 5225 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., curiouscomedy.org. 8 pm. $75 in advance, $90 at the door. 21+.
16. Ring in 2019 at Xport Bar & Lounge
Indulge the kid you once were by living New Year's Eve as you always imagined it: socializing on the top floor of a ritzy hotel amid bottles of Champagne and seafood towers on every table. The Xport Bar & Lounge should deliver the glam given its perch on the 16th floor of the Porter. Xport Bar & Lounge, 1355 SW 2nd Ave., xportportland.com. 9 pm. $50 general admission, $100 VIP.
17. The New Year's Eve Virtual Reality Party
Want to ring in the New Year with simulated characters rather than real people? Downtown Portland's new virtual reality game center is the perfect place to hunker down in an augmented world to avoid the one you actually live in. Uncharted Realities will have contests and prizes that night, though space is limited and reservations are encouraged. Uncharted Realities, 933 SW 3rd Ave., unchartedrealities.com. 7 pm. $50.
18. Irish New Year Countdown
Maybe you've gotta get up early New Year's Day. Or maybe you want an excuse to drink all day with multiple countdowns to midnight. No matter what brings you to celebrate the Irish New Year Countdown, Feckin Brewery will welcome you. Enjoy a traditional Irish beer and ax-throwing before marking the arrival of 2019 in Eire. Feckin Brewery, 415 S McLoughlin Blvd., Oregon City, feckinbrew.com. 3 pm. Free.
19. Pix's New Year's Eve Extravaganza
Pix Pâtisserie is opening itself up to guests like Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory without the attendance cap. That means you should get to the goodie buffet early, because when it runs out, that's it. Until that happens, stuff your face with chocolate mousse, cake, ice cream, truffles and beer like the greedy little Augustus Gloop you are. Pix Pâtisserie/Bar Vivant, 2225 E Burnside St., pixpatisserie.com. 10 pm. $10 cover. 21+.
20. Portland Spirit's Party Cruise
If you really want to spend your first moments of 2019 on a boat but prefer hors d'oeuvres and Champagne toasts over a total rager, the Portland Spirit has you covered. There will be a vocal jazz band, not a DJ. Portland Spirit Cruises, 1020 SW Naito Parkway, portlandspirit.com. 9:30 pm. $99. 21+.
21. Yoga & Kombucha Toast
After the year we've had, we could all use a chakra realignment. Join this midnight Bikram Yoga class and bring in 2019 with a "namaste" and kombucha toast. Bikram Yoga St. Johns, 7025 N Lombard St., No. 200., bikramstjohns.com. 10 pm. $22.