If You Like Chive TV, You'll Love Brooklyn's Bar 33

Pay no attention to the numbers on the sign. Brooklyn's Bar 33 (4729 SE Milwaukie Ave, 719-4344, bar33brooklyn.com)—no relation to Belmont bourbon speakeasy Circa 33—is where Prohibition themes go to die.

Next to the Rumple Minze and Jägermeister, the whiskey in that Rockstar fridge is all Sinfire, Fireball and Jack Daniel's Tennessee Fire. And that "33" hung in big, metal-cut letters on the bar's wall? It's not the year of anything. It's the address of the first Bar 33 location in downtown Gresham, not to mention the number of the Scottie Pippen jersey (Bull, not Blazer) framed on the wall.

The newish sports bar—housed in what used to be Yummy Garden, before that eatery's owner fled the country under suspicions of running a drug empire—has a very deep-fried menu, free popcorn, a large back patio and more inside screens than a Chip Kelly offense, including a Golden Tee Golf game placed in the center of the bar for maximum viewing. But on crappy sports nights, the most interesting screen is a Roku box perma-tuned to CHIVE TV—slogan: "Keep Calm and Chive On"—a viral-video channel based on a website with a virulently loyal following. Think Tosh.0 without the anti-gay jokes: Chive-branded bikini slide shows, beer-pong tricks involving dogs, and dudes with selfie sticks free-climbing construction cranes. Bar 33 has one of the few Chive boxes in Portland, and also sports multiple Chive banners and a Chive-branded KCCO "Gold Lager" that tastes like malt farts. Order the Breakside IPA instead.

On a recent game-free Monday, Bar 33 was packed with scruffy faces in ball caps or hood-up sweatshirts—plus one guy who somehow looked like both Jay and Silent Bob at the same time—drinking to a soundtrack of A Tribe Called Quest and 4 Non Blondes. "My tab is open!" yelled one guy to his friend-pack. "Do whatever you want with it!" No prohibition, indeed.

Willamette Week