On our most recent visit to this worn-in downtown strip club, a couple from South Florida was seated next to us. They had a pink doughnut box, two drinks and no singles on their little round table. "She hates Portland," the gentleman said. "She says everything closes early." His wife maintained that she didn't hate Portland, per se, but that it did make her appreciate Miami more. Well, you can send such folks to Blue Star and across the river to the Portland they saw on TV, but if you don't like Mary's, you probably don't like Portland. This dodgy little nook splits the difference between rocker dive and the more aggressive lap-dance saleswomanship found at suburban clubs. The one must-order drink? Cascade Brewing's special blonde, made only for this club. The tony Multnomah Athletic Club is the only other spot that gets a custom Cascade beer.

Happy hour: You ain't happy enough?

Entertainment: You ain't entertained?

129 SW Broadway, 503-227-3023. marysclub.com. 11 am-2:30 am Monday- Saturday, 11:30 am-2:30 am Sunday.