Most Portland phenomenons revolve around gender politics, beer, and attention from Japan. Since 2004, the Sprockettes, the world's first all-female punk minibike troupe, has filled all these requirements.
These creative women teamed up with New Belgium Brewing for their Tour de Fat, which has seen them stretch their tires on a national scale, inspiring copycat groups in England, Japan (yup), and even San Francisco, where the landscape is possibly the least accommodating for downhill circus stunts.
There's good news and bad news. Unfortunately, the collective that once included dozens of active participants is currently down to two members. However, this means there are plenty of openings—possibly even one for you.
This Sunday, Oct. 23, the Sprockettes are holding an open recruiting call for the very first time.
For those of you tired of Snapchatting from the sidelines, we offer some literal squad goals for how to tell if you're a good fit for the team.
You want to empower girls.
The Sprockettes have hosted summer camps for young girls since 2011, where they teach young'uns how to acro-balance, do bike tricks, and dance. If you don't have this sixth sense, or the ability to speak to children, then you probably won't be able to participate in some of the Sprockettes' most vital community programs.
You have Wednesdays and Sundays free from 6-9.
You may have to surrender your spot in that beloved creative writing Meetup group in order to join the Sprockettes. The team has mandatory practice meetings on Sundays from 6-9, but in order to be a star player, you'll want to attend their other meeting on Wednesday night from 6-9 as well. And if you don't have all of the minibiking and dance skills down, you will want this time to hone those skills.
You fight crime.
When the Sprockettes aren't educating us on body positivity and gender politics, they're fighting crime. Back in 2007, two Sprockettes members returned a stolen bike to its owner. So, if you're a part-time caped crusader or if you've tattled on a neighbor with outdated license plates recently, you are likely to possess the morale of a Sprockette.
You're at least 21.
Turning 21 truly is the gift that keeps on giving. As with all of life's finest amenities, you'll have to be at least 21 to participate with the Sprockettes. As you might assume, these women are probably plenty of fun to grab a drink with after a given performance.
Lastly, you should be female identifying if you want to join the team.
GO: The Sprockettes open recruitment is at Buckman School basketball courts, SE 16th and Stark, Sunday October 23, 6-9 pm.