The universe has spoken: It’s all for capitalism. With the solar eclipse fast approaching, we’re reminded why Airbnb is a thing, that hotels are just as soulless and that we’re going to have to shell out some dough just to witness one of life’s greatest natural spectacles.

That's right: You can't even look up at the sky for free come August 21. Here are the four things you'll need to not see the sun next week.

Soluna Solar Eclipse Glasses

Family 10 pack for $20.40.

eclipse glasses
The solar eclipse is basically an impromptu Fourth of July BBQ. There’s a slim chance you won’t be surrounded by a crowd when this light show goes down; the roads are set to resemble a zombie apocalypse. You’ve probably heard the other caveat: to witness it in all its holiness, you’ll need solar eclipse glasses to keep your pupils from exploding.

We suggest the Soluna Solar Eclipse Glasses. For $20, you can get 10 pairs of glasses. $2 per person if you're into kid math. They're ISO certified and 100 percent preventative against hostile UV rays. You can also splurge and grab a 50-pack, if you have that many friends.

Gskyer Telescope
Go big or go home for $76.63.

You probably won't live to see another eclipse, so you might as well go a step above the eclipse goggles and get yourself an Aristotle-approved telescope. The Gskyer is the most affordable telescope option with the best value rating. It's also super simple setup for any beginner: with an entry-level refractive astronomical telescope that carries a 60 mm aperture and a 350mm focal length. It's lightweight–and very portable. Most other telescopes will cost over $100.

People need to eat and drink, and it's summer: You're going to be drinking, regardless of any eclipse. With record numbers of people racing to coastal hotels, beaches and parks–you're going to need an ice chest.

Invest in the Pelican 20 Court Elite Cooler. It's a top-ranked, two dollar sign answer to your prayer. It comes with some inventive amenities: cup holders, corrosion resistant stainless steel hardware and even a bottle opener.

Withstand baldness for $2.87.

Did you know UV rays are really bad for hair? They straight up contribute to thinning and baldness. Do your hair a favor and purchase a festive solar eclipse baseball cap. 1) It’ll compliment those 3D glasses and 2) It’ll be hip and ironic someday, and you can give it to your kids.

(Cool Stuff is a new feature at WW that reviews the best gear and stuff. Our reviewers are experts in their field and are asked to provide honest and independent assessments. When readers choose to purchase our editorial picks, we earn affiliate commissions that support our journalism.)