Which, of the following, would you rather have happen:
- You are punched in the face, hard. Not hard enough to break your nose, but hard enough to give you a pretty bad black eye that won’t clear up for a while and that you’ll have to explain to your co-workers.
- You have your lunch explode in your bag. It gets all over everything, including your laptop, and for the rest of the bag’s life it is discolored and smells kind of sour inside.
I'd certainly take number one.
For years, I spent every day haunted by the specter of the exploded lunch. Every crappy plastic container was a day-ruining disaster waiting to happen. I started to rubber band the bargain food containers I got from IKEA shut because I didn't trust them not to get lunch juice all over everything.
And that isn't to mention the fact that the plastic absorbs the smell of whatever was left in there. If food ever spoiled in one of those containers, you best bet that everything that you'd store in there afterwards would have a little bit of garbage essence lingering in its molecules.
Last year, as part of my quest not to subsist on the cheapest, shittiest possible things the least amount of money can buy, I decided to upgrade my storage containers. After a little research, I found an 18-piece set of storage containers—meaning nine lids and nine containers—from GlassLock, and I've never needed another set since.
- Bowl, of which there is a small, medium and large. The small holds about a cup of liquid. The large, about three cups.
- Square, of which there is are small and medium sizes, the small holding about a cup and a half of liquid. The medium, three cups.
- Rectangle, of which there are one small, two medium and one large. The small holds about a cup and a half of liquid. The large holds about six cups.
Each container comes with a thick plastic lid with a rubber sealant. When closed and snapped shut, the containers are airtight and watertight.
And I mean completely airtight and watertight. I've owned these guys for a long time now, and I use them regularly. I have not once had a single issue with leakage, the snap locks popping open, discoloring (they remain crystal clear), lingering smells or any other type of nonsense you expect from shitty plastic containers. Not one of the lids has ever warped. Just minutes ago, I dropped a locked container full of jus from six feet in the air onto my kitchen floor as an impromptu test. It landed with a hard thud on the floor and told me to go fuck myself.
I have had only two issues arise while owning my set of GlassLock containers:
- I lost one lid to the oven. The product review website at which I heard about these containers mentioned that they are ovenproof, and, like an asshole, I assumed the term “container” was inclusive of the lid. It’s not. Don’t put the lids in the oven, they will melt.
- I had one container vacuum seal itself shut after microwaving a meal (a filo pastry) with the lid on it. I tried opening the clasps and smashing the container against the floor, but it wouldn’t open. I was able to recover the bowl by puncturing the lid. I have never had this problem repeat itself, but be wary of it when microwaving your lunch.
I'd happily pay $33 for my containers again. Not a single one is near needing to be replaced. If you want to never have to worry about your tuna salad turning your purse into a stench pit for all of eternity ever again, now is the time.
Am I a huge dipshit for thinking the lids were ovenproof? Sound off in the comments!
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