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You Can Dance to Just About Anything You Want to in Portland

From rare cumbia to pantsless synth-pop.

…urban desi and Indian dance pop (Andaz Bhangra Bollywood Dance Party, last Saturdays at the Liquor Store)

…classic soul and funk curated by the Dandy Warhols' drummer (Soul Stew, second through last Fridays at the Goodfoot)

…sweaty soul rarities spun by Ural Thomas's drummer (In the Cooky Jar, first Fridays at Eagles Lodge)

…hip-hop in a queer-centric space that also books some of Portland's best rappers (Cake, second Fridays at Killingsworth Dynasty)

.…rare midcentury American dance jams at a party endorsed by John Cameron Mitchell (Sugar Town, first Saturdays at Kenton Club)

…deep house with performers and attendees dressed in kink gear (Switch, monthly at Killingsworth Dynasty)

…the most shameless mix of bubblegum-pop greats (Candi Pop, recurring at Holocene)

…vibey beats sets by idiosyncratic local producers (A Beat Happening, last Thursday at Future Shock)

…classic goth underneath the cloak of a fog machine and a giant pentagram-type insignia (Shadowplay, Thursdays at the Lovecraft)

…buzzy European industrial DJs spinning in what feels like someone's basement (Spend the Night, first Fridays at the Liquor Store)

…synth pop while mostly naked (Pants Off Dance Off, monthly at Tonic Lounge)

…'80s music while surrounded by '80s arcade games (Reaganomix, every Monday at Ground Kontrol)

…the saddest of sad-boy Brit pop (Bittersweet Symphony, monthly at Church)

…slow jams with all the cheesy glam of your high school prom, minus the oppressive heteronormativity (Queer Prom, every spring at Crush Bar)

…Panic at the Disco and My Chemical Romance like your mall-goth phase never ended (Emo Nite, recurring at Holocene)

…a continent-spanning appreciation of Latinx music that ranges from rare cumbia to Cardi B (Noche Libre, second Thursdays at Dig A Pony)

1. Because we're not afraid of public displays of affection…

2. Because women are in charge…

3. Because our local theater scene tells true, inspiring Oregon stories…

4. Because Kevin Calabro and Lamar Hurd make even Blazer losses fun…

5. Because we're still No. 1 in semi-factual superlatives…

6. Because we have a sixth quadrant now…

7. Because the hottest rapper in the game is obsessed with us…

8. Because Oregon is gradually getting more diverse, and in unexpected ways…

9. Because we can work it out…

10. Because we helped jump-start the movement that's changing the tech 
industry…

11. Because if you want to, you can dance to…

12. Because we're so sex positive, you can take a class on…

13. Because we're working to become a bike haven again…

14. Because after walking across Antarctica, I can still come back 
to my favorite dive bar…

15. Because the Blazers' game-day posters are the coolest collectibles in sports…

16. Because our airport is Beervana…

17. Because our fake fast food beats the real thing…

18. Because the Big Pipe is keeping poop out of the river…

19. Because we're making an effort to diversify the cannabis industry…

20. Because we finally have a virtual reality playland…

21. Because we have nicer weather than Hawaii (no, really)…

22. Because Basic Rights Oregon is fighting for LGTBQ+ rights—and winning…

23. Because Portland State's gym just underwent an awesome makeover…

24. …and the courthouse is getting one, too.

25. Because our hotel bars are some of the best bars in the city…

26. Because you'll spend less time in jail here than the national average…

27. Because we make some of the best guitar pedals in the biz…

28. Because our Curry is better than that other Curry…

29. Because we're Raptorville USA…

30. Because ICE hates us…

31. Because everything that dies someday comes back…