A few years ago, Kevin Welch, a bartender at The Sextant Bar & Galley, thought he’d have some fun with the sign out front. “Disappointing People Who Think We Are a Strip Club for 45 Years,” he wrote on the marquee, which beckons drivers along Northeast Marine Drive. It seems like an obvious joke, playing off the idea that, at a glance, the name of the bar appears to be “The Sex Tent.” According to Welch, though, it’s funny because it’s true. “That happens all the time,” he says. “A while back we had some gals come in wanting to know what they had to do to audition.” The sign earned the Sextant—which, in actuality, is named after a piece of nautical equipment—a nod to Tosh 2.0, and regulars still bring it up. But it wasn’t Welch’s first attempt at using humor to attract customers: He’s been the bar’s de facto copywriter for four years, switching out the messaging on the sign every few weeks, even while the bar was shut down due to the coronavirus. Here are a few examples of his handiwork.

All photos courtesy of Kevin Welch.

Alexa

sextant

Voices

Worst

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