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Weird question, but do you look like an old baby? Bearded, pot-bellied, barefoot, tattooed and willing to wear only a waist apron? If so, Old Town Brewing needs your services. The brewery seeks contestants for its inaugural Old Baby Pageant, happening Aug. 11 at Alberta Abbey.
Let’s back up. Old Baby Lager is Old Town’s collaboration beer with Baby Doll Pizza, dreamed up after a few beverages together at the Great American Beer Festival. (Old Town Brewing, Old Town Pizza and Baby Doll Pizza are all owned by Adam Milne.) The brewery started canning the easy drinker in 2023 with the mash up name and mascot of the Old Baby. The beer was created as a toast to Portland service workers.
Soon, sales director Tom Field noticed a pattern on sales calls. (Important context: lots of brewers have beards, Field says.)
“I walked into enough places and people would look at the can and say, ‘Oh, my friend looks like that,’ or ‘my brother-in-law looks like that,’” Field says. “So I thought, let’s do this.”
The judges are seeking someone who both looks the part of the beer’s mascot, but also embodies the Old Baby spirit. Field can’t quite name what that means, but the pageant will include a talent portion to help the judges—including local drag icon Poison Waters—determine a winner. Field is hoping for “some really stupid things.” The winner will take home $500.
The irreverent event actually has a more serious underpinning. It’s a response to the well-documented trend that adults ages 21-35 aren’t drinking and going out as much as older generations. Bars and restaurants, perhaps, need to be working harder to inspire people actually leave their homes, Field says.
“I think it’s important for people to go out and do things in public—that’s how you meet new people,” Field says, “For literally thousands of years, bars have been the place people go and make connections.”
Old Town Brewing will cap the pageant contestants at about a dozen. Field has a good batch but “some people have already chickened out” so they need a few more; applicants should get in touch with the brewery for more information.
One more note: “Prosthetics are completely allowed to look like Old Baby.”
SEE IT: Old Baby Pageant at Alberta Abbey, 126 NE Alberta St. 503-200-5988, otbrewing.com. Tickets: eventbrite.com/e/old-baby-pageant-2025-tickets-1438955447479?aff=ebdssbdestsearch. 7 pm Monday, Aug. 11. $10. 21+
