Top Five 105: Suggested Replacement Names For Viet Cong, Taken From a Random Band-Name Generator

In September, Canadian post-punk outfit Viet Cong finally bent to public criticism and announced it would change its name. So far, though, it has yet to specify what its new name is going to be. As the band arrives for its scheduled Portland show still in awkward, nameless purgatory, we went to Band Name Maker and got a few suggestions. And hey, while we're at it, maybe Portland's own Black Pussy would like to peruse this list as well…

1. Falling Hippo

Conveys a certain gravitas, don't you think?

2. Wanted of the Something

When your previous name offended an entire ethnic group, you're going to want something so vague it couldn't possibly upset anyone…could it?

3. Radiant Dirge

Kind of describes the band's sound, weirdly.

4. Fart Moose

Well, they are Canadian.

5. Bovine Einstein

Look, if you don't take this name, I will.

None of those working for you? Well, here's 100 more to choose from:

• Potato of the Consolidated Mirror
• Opposing Ripcord
• Teacher of the Grandma
• Armored Fleece and the Vending Cake
• Sprocket of Lush
• Zebra Zenith
• Neato Bungle of the Shimmering Cockroach
• Sweltering Blender
• Luminescent Cretin
• Moist Zebra
• Nuke Nebraska
• Monger Dictionary
• Cousin Beyond Pickle
• Gruesome Edge
• Inbred River
• Fax Crowbar
• Motley Ween
• Extinction Turkey
• Vast Transvestite
• Abstract Korea
• The Dire Hamster
• Ravaged Wiggle
• Genetic Diner
• Raising Geek and the Rational Basement
• Loathing Andrew
• Ambitious Mumbles
• Adult-Oriented Vendetta
• Muff of the Hillbilly (
• Pure Earwig
• Glacier Vitamin
• Unplugged Ice
• Junkyard Chunk
• Clown Penetration
• Two-Bit Elf
• Reindeer of Nothing
• Leather Bartender
• Psychedelic Poser
• Recycled Mortician
• Forging Quitter of the Thinking Foreskin
• Faithful Idiot
• Igloo of the Drooling Daddy
• Pleasurable Sorcerer
• Morbid Boy
• Sucky Juice
• Thrill of Biscuit
• Steak Cannon
• Pixel Midget
• Shifty Waiter
• Dude of the Workshop
• Bold Jerk
• Normal Nude
• Unstoppable Ballerina
• City of Crap
• Ironic Sleet
• Schwank Pixie
• Screech Fiction
• Vegas Beneath Cantaloupe
• Enabler of the Mach Vulva
• Import Mongoose and the Gory Feet
• Kicking Chimney of the Frugal Gnome
• Habitual Bronco
• Bald Randy
• Consolidated Radiation
• Extensive Ham
• Underwear Aspirin
• Natural Thingy
• Mustard Charisma
• Slow Breast
• Boiling Sky
• Radical Fudge
• Elated Pissant
• Lethargic Barnacle
• Max Bologna
• Medieval Lint
• Trouser Erection
• Bedroom Bunny
• Right-Wing Untamed
• Fecal Freak
• Psycho Broadway
• Suburban Screw
• Sushi Lust
• Swirling of the Insignificant
• Smelling of the Porcine
• Pistol Joe
• Supreme Mastodon
• Pirate Baptist
• Fat Already
• Slapping Crotch and the Submarine
• Laced Hunter
• Rancid Park
• Proactive Cave
• Roaring Disorder
• Puffin Lamp
• Curious Fig
• Medical Appliance
• Platoon Geezer
• Godfather Detergent
• Defined Porno
• Puke of the Disappointed Xerox
• Dying Retard (on second thought, best avoid this one…)

SEE IT: Viet Cong plays Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., with Grave Babies, on Tuesday, Oct. 20. 9 pm. $12 advance, $14 day of show. 21+.

Willamette Week