Well, it turns out Don Draper wasn't D.B. Cooper after all.
In 1971, on the eve of Thanksgiving, a man who identified himself as Dan Cooper hijacked a plane flying from Portland to Seattle.
His was the kind of romantic crime that begs for a Leonardo DiCaprio movie: He drank a bourbon and soda, hijacked a 727, was given $200,000 and a parachute, and jumped out of the plane, never to be heard from again.
He has attained a sort of folk-hero status, and his identity is still a matter of obsessive speculation, especially here in Oregon.
Now, according to Detroit Free Press, a Michigan man is saying he knows who the real D.B. Cooper is—and, surprise surprise, it's another guy from Michigan.
In his new book, Still Missing, Ross Richardson suggests the true identity of "Dan Cooper" is Dick Lepsy, a man who disappeared mysteriously from Grayling, Mich., on Oct. 29, 1969.
Besides the fact that Lepsy looks a lot like the sketch of Cooper—which, let's be clear, is about as generic as a man in the late '60s, early '70s could look—his evidence is, well, circumstantial.
Take, for example, this irrefutable fact that he mentions: "The FBI says the skyjacker's shoes were loafers; those were Dick Lepsy's favorite shoes.
Where have you been, FBI? A man from 40 years ago who wore loafers! How many could there be?
Will we ever know for certain who D.B. Cooper was, or whether he survived his jump, or if he is in fact your weird neighbor who always glares at you when he's walking his dog? Probably not.
But here's hoping we keep getting theories for the next 100 years, and that we never forget a time when hijacking a plane was considered a civil and reasonable way for a middle-class, middle-aged white man to make some money.
Also, D.B. Cooper, if you're reading this and are finally ready for an exclusive interview, call me, OK?