Does Oregon's Primary Even Matter?

Given all the ongoing weirdness of the 2016 election, is there any chance that late-voting Oregon might actually have some say in who the presidential nominees are this year?

—Matt P.

Oregon doesn't get much presidential-candidate love. General-election candidates figure we'd go for anything with a pulse and a "D" next to its name (and the pulse is negotiable). Primary candidates ignore us because nominees are usually locked in before we vote in May.

Could this year be different? Well, the Democrats have two candidates, neither of whom is dangerously psychotic, so their race will probably be like all the others: effectively over before our May 17 primary.

On the GOP side, though…well, it's funny how throwing an Antichrist-like billionaire into the mix can screw up people's plans. (It must be particularly galling for Ted Cruz, who actually is the Antichrist, but is getting zero props for it.)

At this point, Republican elites are just hoping to deny Donald Trump an outright majority of delegates. Then their convention would be free to nominate someone more popular, like Jeffrey Dahmer or Steve Bartman.

If current trends hold, the Trump train will steam into Oregon with about 93 percent of that delegate lock. The Orange One needs us! If he picks up the pace a bit between now and then, we (or more precisely, our redneck uncles) could even be the ones who put him over the top.

If you want to get in on/try to prevent this, you'll need to register by April 26 as a member of the party you want to crash. Do it online at SOS MyVote Oregon.

Finally, if you're looking for someone to blame for all this, check the mirror: Oregon was the first state to institute a binding presidential primary election, in 1910. This was during the Progressive Era, when people were paying enough attention that letting them vote on stuff seemed like a good idea. C'était le bon temps.

Have a question about life in Portland? Send it to dr.know@wweek.com.

Willamette Week