In the Coming Megaquake, How Much Warning Will the New ShakeAlert App Give Us?

In the coming “megaquake,” how much warning will the new ShakeAlert app give us? I live in a brick building in a liquefaction zone, so I don’t just need five seconds to get under a table. I need enough time to get downstairs, get out and run for my life. —Adam A.

The bad news, Adam, is that it’s unlikely your ShakeAlert notification (like an Amber Alert, but for earthquakes) will give you enough lead time to make it out of the building. The good news, however, is that you were gonna die if you did that shit anyway. The system is actually doing you a favor!

I understand the temptation to hightail it out of your wobbly building (ideally trampling your too-cheap-to-spring-for-a-seismic-refit landlord for traction), but it’s a bad idea. Unreinforced masonry buildings tend to lose their outer walls first, so you’ll probably get brained by a falling cornice as you make for the exit.

Instead (cry the experts in unison), you should DROP! COVER! And HANG ON! Do this as soon as you get the alert. Get under (or, if that’s not possible, next to) something sturdy in the room you’re in—a desk, a table, a doorway, even a wall. Once you’re down, cover your head, hang on to the aforementioned sturdy thing, and wait for the apocalypse.

How long will you have to wait, though? Unfortunately, there’s no way to know. Seismic waves travel at 100 to 250 miles per minute, so if the quake’s epicenter is due west of Seattle, you might have 70 seconds. If it’s in Tigard, they’ll find you in the rubble by the sound of the notification alert finally reaching your phone.

That’s why you need to act fast—don’t waste time running down the hall because there’s a really great desk three rooms over. If you wanted to stack the deck a bit in your favor, you could buy an extra-sturdy table with a reinforced bottom, and maybe even stash a burner phone under there to make sure you have a way to call for help from the rubble.

But let’s get real: You haven’t even managed to stash 5 lousy gallons of drinking water for emergencies,* even though water is basically free and we’ve been nagging you about it since 1995. You get your earthquake safety advice from a newspaper humor column. Are you really going to trick out your apartment with a comms-equipped custom DIY roll cage? I’ll believe it when I see it.

*Full disclosure: Neither have I.

Questions? Send them to dr.know@wweek.com.