It's been a hard week for everyone.
The same cannot be said of the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers.
Last week, the feds shut down the historic Bonneville Lock and Dam in the Columbia River Gorge to the public, and the social media manager for the agency's Portland district appeared to quickly succumb to cabin fever.
Then, on Thursday, they published an imaginary conversation with the "Area Closed" sign standing guard outside the Bonneville visitor center. It got…existential.
"My presence serves the purpose of denying others a presence," "the sign" "says." "I guess it's my cross to bear."
It's the best interview with an inanimate object since Clint Eastwood interrogated an empty chair at the Republican National Convention.
Read the full Q&A below, and feel better about staging a performance of Pagliacci with your cats on Instagram Live.