Here’s Our Recommended List of Indoor Attractions to Visit While Stoned This Winter

From world-class experiential museums to a brand-new collection of indoor pickleball, pingpong and cornhole courts, there are all manner of places to experience psychoactives outside of your own four walls.

Cold, wet winters are a certainty in Portland, which means waiting the season out by hunkering down at home is practically in our DNA. Sure, hibernation has its merits—especially if you like to retreat into your own little stoned zone—but spending three months being bullied by weather can get taxing and, as we all well know following years of pandemic lockdowns, cabin fever is real, y’all.

But winter doesn’t have to be a gloomy affair. From world-class experiential museums to a brand-new collection of indoor pickleball, pingpong and cornhole courts, there are all manner of places to experience psychoactives outside of your own four walls. The following is a list of a half-dozen outings that can actually be enjoyed any time of year, but should be particularly comfortable when the nights are long and the temperatures bone chilling. Best of all: The fun level at each location is only enhanced by some cannabis pregaming.

OMSI Kendall Planetarium Laser Show

1945 SE Water Ave., Suite 200, 503-797-4000, omsi.edu. Times and dates vary.

In the center of the Venn diagram of fun things to do on drugs and memory-making family activities are laser light planetarium shows. And if you’ve yet to make that memory as an adult with psychedelic interests, consider making this your laser-lightstravaganza year as a way to also avoid the grisly weather and cabin fever.

OMSI hosts several stoner-friendly events outside of its regular museum programming, including Kendall Planetarium’s laser light shows, most of which are appropriate for families with young children and adults on manageable psychoactive magic carpet rides. Several times each week you can blast off and zone out to Laser Floyd or Lazer Queen at the venue as the rock gods intended; however, there are also displays that feature seasonal characters clearly geared toward costumed kids. Plan accordingly lest you stink up the children’s show with your dank doink breath.

GO: $7.50

Hopscotch

1020 SE 10th Ave., letshopscotch.com. Noon-10 pm Wednesday-Sunday; 6-10 pm adults only.

Born from the same ethos as Meow Wolf’s Convergence Station in Denver, the multicity Museum of Ice Cream, Houston’s Seismique, or even our own Peculiarium, Hopscotch is an unconventional art venue that encourages visitors to engage with light- and sound-based exhibits and otherworldly spaces that make for exceptional photo ops. Spending a few hours exploring its 14 galleries spread across a 23,000-square-foot space is an activity that is as suitable for families as it is for date night as it is for solo stoned wandering.

In fact, a heavy cannabis buzz is a recommended buffer for a few of the more sensorially intense exhibits, especially those that rely heavily on LEDs, waves of color, and mirrors. Standout installations include Quantum Trampoline, a bounce-activated, laser-light extravaganza that made our already-rubbery limbs feel extra weightless; Augmented Normalcy, a VR exhibit that allows visitors to view themselves from unrealistic angles while roaming through a cartoony, artificial turf-covered landscape; and Unknown Atmospheres, a contemporary hall of mirrors, where audiences watch curtains of pingpong ball-sized light bulbs chase each other, flashing and pulsing in precise synchrony to an electronic symphony.

Stoners be warned: The hallways of Hopscotch are, by design, labyrinthine, and since exit signs illuminate the ends of each hallway, keeping track of which way is up after having your senses sometimes aggressively stimulated can be a challenge. Hang in there—there’s no time limit on your visit, and once you stumble into the gift shop, you’re more or less home free.

GO: $24 adults; $20 students, seniors and military ID holders; $15 kids ages 4-15; kids younger than 4 get in free.

Goose Cube: The Portal

Address provided once booked, Lake Oswego, airbnb.com.

In the middle of a relatively ordinary neighborhood surrounded by tall pines in Lake Oswego sits an unassuming house, where an extraordinarily trippy experience awaits just beyond the threshold. Goose Cube: The Portal, an immersive art experience that you can actually stay in overnight, allows visitors to access multiverse portals, astro-travel through a space cat’s back end, fondle sensory walls papered with luxurious faux furs and sparkling confetti, time travel into exquisitely detailed miniature worlds, and glimpse the backlit beyond thanks to a mirrored infinity bedroom. As if that weren’t enough, guests are also provided top-notch amenities like a luxury spa bath, a gorgeously landscaped yard with a deck and garden, and a supply of pillows adequate for fort building.

Goose Cube is the brainchild of Steven Ochs, whose magically immersive works are on par with what you can find at Hopscotch—albeit his creations are located in a single-family, ranch-style home out in the suburbs. The environment seems to beg adult visitors to experience Goose Cube through the lens of psychedelia, and the spacious patio is, indeed, cannabis-friendly.

Despite that, the home still feels totally suitable for families or small parties of people who are rawdogging life (one bedroom contains a bunk bed, bright orange faux-fur walls, an accent wall that looks as though it were torn out of a comic book, and a fantastic assortment of kids’ books and toys).

GO: Price varies depending on the date.

The People’s Courts

2700 NE 82nd Ave., 503-455-4843, thepeoplescourts.com. 8 am-10 pm daily.

For pothead pickleball players lamenting the looming winter weather, The People’s Courts hums regardless of the forecast, and there is plenty of room for other games if you haven’t taken up America’s fastest-growing sport. The gym features five full-sized indoor courts, two skinny singles and a dinkum—all dedicated to pickleball. Beyond that, there are six pingpong tables, a disc golf course, five bocce ball lanes, cornhole and even an arcade.

Once you’ve worked up an appetite or the munchies take hold (or both), head to either of the two restaurants with top-tier stoner snacks: The Kitchen, a bar and grill with a menu designed by Nate Tildon (Clyde Common, Olympia Provisions) and The Parlor, which specializes in pizza. Bar food feasts and cornhole with the squad is sure to become a winner of an afternoon, winter or nah.

GO: Game rates range from $10 to $40 an hour or $10 a day for disc golf. Open play pickleball is $15 a person.

Mt. Scott Community Center Roller Rink

5530 SE 72nd Ave., 503-823-3183, portlandoregon.gov/parks. Building hours: 5:30 am–8 pm Monday-Friday, 7 am-2 pm Saturday.

Nestled in the basement of the Mt. Scott Community Center is the Mt. Scott Roller Rink, a spacious renovated hardwood gymnasium. In an already attraction-heavy community center, the skating venue is a surprisingly easy escape for deep Southeast dwellers craving some lightly toasted physical activity. And the place feels a bit like a well-kept secret with drop-in hours only.

Yes, it’s far less flashy than Oaks Amusement Park’s rink, but that’s part of its charm. The vibe here is aligned more with skate enthusiasts seeking a low-key environment—not one filled with selfie-snapping nostalgia chasers. Which is to say, Mt. Scott is a great spot for newbies trying to find their stoner skate legs since there are far fewer spectators. One caveat: While Mt. Scott does have affordable skate rentals, a few sets are downright antique, so if you have ‘em, bring your own pair.

GO: $6.25 for adults, $5 for seniors and teens, and $4.50 for youths.

North American Bigfoot Center

31297 SE Highway 26, Boring, 503-912-3054, northamericanbigfootcenter.com. 10 am-5 pm daily.

Founded by former Animal Planet Finding Bigfoot star Cliff Barackman, Boring’s North American Bigfoot Center is a stoner attraction that looks like a mountain town gift shop, but one that has the contents of a cryptozoology museum—which itself is very stoney. The venue is focused exclusively on the Pacific Northwest’s most infamous furry unsubstantiated creature. And since Barackman, known as deep cable’s foremost Bigfoot expert, helped open the museum in 2019, visitors may even catch a glimpse of the celebrity in person.

Rich with displays that include everything from footprint casts to a 7-foot, 6-inch rendering of a squatch made by a professional animatronics studio, the center would appeal to everyone from the amateur Bigfoot researcher to giggling skeptics. But potheads should especially enjoy this squatchsperience given all of the visual stimulation. Once your buzz simmers down, the drive-in burger shack that shares a parking lot with the museum is the perfect place to unpack an afternoon of speculative cryptozoological discoveries over milkshakes and fries.

GO: $8 general admission; $6 seniors, kids under 12 and military ID holders; kids younger than 5 get in free.

On the Menu

OMSI Kendall Planetarium Laser Show

SMOKE: Blue Dream is a classic strain revered for its euphoric high. Expect a berry aroma and sharp, grassy exhale.

Hopscotch

SMOKE: Dragon Candy results in a fuzzy, happy high with a comforting body buzz. Expect a grassy, piney inhale and botanical exhale.

Goose Cube: The Portal

SMOKE: If you’re looking for a heady buzz coupled with an electric body high, you can’t go wrong with White Bubblegum dabs. Or take some Golden Teacher psilocybin shrooms, preferably after they’ve been chopped and soaked in lemon for an hour.

The People’s Courts

SMOKE: For a sparkling head high and (maybe) superior paddle-swinging abilities, try Durban Poison pre-rolls, which have a spicy nose and bright, grassy exhale.

Mt. Scott Community Center Roller Rink

SMOKE: Low-THC cultivar Mochi might help with physical recovery after a hardcore skate jam. Expect a sweet aroma and piney exhale.

North American Bigfoot Center

SMOKE: Since Bigfoot would naturally be a mountain dweller, Mt. Hood Magic seems like the perfect fit for this experience. Expect an ultra-relaxing high, botanical nose, and piney exhale.

Oregon Winter is Willamette Week’s annual winter activity magazine. It is free and can be found all over Portland beginning Wednesday, December 6, 2023. Find your free copy at one of the locations noted here, before they all get picked up!

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