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Getting Portland to clap for chlamydia was probably not the most socially responsible choice the folks at the alt queer comedy show Exquisite Nonsense could have ever made, but I’ll be damned if it wasn’t one of the funniest possible outcomes.
Nestled between a sold-out show of Die Hard: The Musical and Funhouse Lounge’s long-running Midnight Mic was Exquisite Nonsense, a semimonthly show that earlier in the week did a Degrassi High-themed Christmas show at the Back Door Theater. The Dec. 12 show centered on a fully original script by the show’s co-producer, Imani, which watched a forbidden romance bloom between Santa Claus (co-producer and WW’s Funniest Five alumnus Joe John Sanchez III) and The Clap, aka Chlamydia Jones (Ameerah Sanders) after Santa’s chimney got dicked down by a sleighful of gays named Trevor (and a couple of Mikes and Matts thrown in, for diversity).
Comedians Sabrena Contreras and Funniest Five alumna Rachelle Cochran broke up the acts with standup sets. Contreras used self-deprecating humor to describe how she’s mistaken for a straight woman (“I chose this haircut,” she said onstage, pointing to her very Portland self-cut bangs) and explaining why she would rather have herpes than children (“Herpes doesn’t say, ‘I don’t like your spaghetti.’ I can smoke in my car with herpes”), while Cochran reflected on her rural upbringing. (“That’s how you raise a lesbian, send her into the woods with tools,” she quipped.)
LadyBerri Matthews and Chakra Stone infused drag energy into the show. Matthews is relatively new to Portland by way of Florida, but evidently brings years of polished stage presence with her, performing first as herself and then as a dirndl-clad biermaid. Stone, who perhaps is a comparatively newer entertainer, performed “Show Me Love” by Robin S. leading into Jennifer Hudson’s Dreamgirls cover “And I Am Telling You I’m Not Going.” She seemed a little in her shell still, but it’s clear she’s a star on her way to the night sky.
