There's no better way to feel like a sailor on leave—besides actually joining the Navy, and now might not be the best time for that—than to make a quick visit to Mary's Club. Fishnets, tattoos, boobs and the occasional noise from a line of video-poker machines (which sound like the sea if you put your ear right up to 'em) are the sirens of this old-time strip club. I know you don't drink rum, but c'mon: You're dozens of blocks from home and you've only got 10 hours till the good ship Day Job harkens you back aboard. Make the most of it.
Perfect Patron: Respectful middle-aged dudes with a high regard for pole artistry. No claustrophobics allowed. (CJ)