- BRITER, LITER: Strap on your L.A. Gear CatapultsâPortland has its first âall-retro â80s and â90s dance club and diner.â Jones opened in the former McFaddenâs space in Old Town last weekend (107 NW Couch St.). The bar, which has the same owner as the Boiler Room, is covered in period memorabiliaâincluding a Garbage Pail Kids collage in the restrooms, arcade games and âthe West Coastâs largest Lite-Brite.â (This raises the question: whatâs happening with Lite Brites back East, and why canât we compete?) Most interesting, Jones is serving breakfast until 5 am. Although the prospect of an Old Town diner at 4 am fills us with terror, Big Ass Sandwichesâ Brian Wood is manning the grill and making dishes like house-smoked brisket biscuit sliders. Hereâs hoping they can nab a few flats of Crystal Pepsi or Josta to pair with them.
- WHEY FAB: Fabio, the most beautiful man in the cosmos, is on a tour of Whole Foods stores, promoting his protein powder. Heâll do meet-and-greets at the Fremont (June 6), Pearl (June 7), Hollywood (June 8) and Laurelhurst (June 8) stores. Fabs and his razor-sharp jawline will be flogging the $44.99 tubs of whey, autographing dog-eared copies of Defy Not The Heart and posing for photos with your weird aunt.
- BAGEL BITE: Kenny & Zukes SandwichWorks at 2376 NW Thurman St. will add a full-fledged bagel shop called Bagelworks, according to The Oregonian, which âlearnedâ of the plan from Ken Gordon (who writes for the paper) this week. In news not about a WW writer, Learned Monkey Bagel Co. is asking for $30,000âyes, 30 largeâon Kickstarter to open a bagel shop in the Brooklyn neighborhood, which âhas a scarcity of good bagels.â With Spielmanâs excellent bagels a mere mile away, does it make sense to give owner James A. Hilsenteger (a patent lawyer a former patent lawyer and current restaurant server) a handout?
- BIKECURIOUS: If youâre into biking in the buff, Portland-based group NW Documentary wants to chat, then maybe see your junk. The company is looking for a few unabashed bikers for a documentary on the Portland Naked Bike Ride. The very reputable company has been accepted into major film festivals around the worldâmeaning you could appear nude onscreen at Tribeca or Sundance. To streak your way to stardom, contact the filmmakers at email@example.com.
- THEY REMINISCE OVER YOU: LeRoy Ellis, an original Trail Blazer nabbed from the Baltimore Bullets in the 1970 expansion draft, died of prostate cancer in Scappoose on Saturday. Ellis was a member of the 1971-72 champion Los Angeles Lakers, holders of the NBAâs all-time longest winning streak (33 games), but he was known locally as a well-loved big man who never tarnished his Blazers legacy. Ellis was 72. Meanwhile, Peter Vecsey of the New York Post tweeted last week that âBrandon Roy is considering Lakers should he come back.â Would Blazers fans ever forgive him?