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It's been almost a decade since Buffy the vampire slayer dusted her last television bloodsucker and delivered her final snark-laden riposte, but the show's popularity has endured in the hearts and DVD box sets of fans the world over-—as evidenced by ShanRock's Buffy: The Trivia Slayers trivia contest taking place Sunday, Nov. 11. Of course, these days you can't turn on the TV without catching some undead Lothario sinking his prosthetic fangs into a hapless heroine who can't decide whether she wants to nail or stake him, but Buffy did it all first. So how do today's coven of onscreen vamps fare against Joss Whedon's finest? To the graph!
Angel
Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Angel
Evilness: Not much. Angel had his
evil patches, but spent most of his time trying to be a hero and chasing
redemption and for his twu wuv, Buffy.
Awesomeness: A smidge. Angel could and did kick ass, but spent
the greater part of every episode furrowing his very large forehead and
brooding.
Spike
Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Angel
Evilness: Mixed. Punk-rock vamp Spike was unashamedly evil for six series of Buffy. But then he went and got a soul and started fighting for good. Yawn.
Awesomeness: It varies. Spike was the show's most awesome character for years—until he fell in love with Buffy and promptly became a lovesick bore.
Eric
True Blood
Evilness: Very. Thousand-year-old Viking vampire Eric occasionally does something nice for one of the four creatures he cares about, but otherwise kills with glee.
Awesomeness: Very. One of Eric's finest scenes involved nonchalantly pulling a man's heart out through the chest and slurping the blood through the man's carotid artery. He can also fly.
Damon
The Vampire Diaries
Evilness: It's complicated. Despite being a remorseless killer for about 200 years, he now seems to spend a lot of time helping teenagers in small-town Virginia.
Awesomeness: Fairly awesome. Damon
is usually the one pointing out just how eye-rollingly stupid everyone
else on this show is (and they really, really are). And yet, he is
inexplicably in love with the show's gormless teenage heroine, Elena,
who is dating Stefan. Buck up, Damon, you can do so much better.
Bill
True Blood
Evilness: Only recently. For most of the show, Southern vampire Bill has spent his nights drinking artificial blood and making out with his dimwitted fairy girlfriend. Even his newfound change in attitude is driven by, blech, religion.
Awesomeness: Limited. Good Bill was a total stick in the mud, and newly evil Bill is a sanctimonious prick.
Stefan
The Vampire Diaries
Evilness: Not really. Stefan was evil for about a season, but he only allowed himself to become that way to save Elena, so it doesn't really count.
Awesomeness: Not really. He spends most of his time drinking animal blood and making moon eyes at his girlfriend, who in turn spends most of her time daydreaming about Damon. I can't blame her.
Edward
Twilight
Evilness: Zero. He's a lover, not a biter.
Awesomeness: Ditto. Edward and his family seem to live the most joyless vampire existence ever, and he spends his days holding hands with an insipid teenager he doesn't even get to screw until the fourth film.
GO: Buffy: The Trivia Slayers is at EastBurn, 1800 E Burnside St., on Sunday, Nov. 11. 6 pm. Free. 21+.
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WWeek 2015