Abbey: From, or in the style of, beers made by quiet little men who have forever forsaken a woman's touch.
ABV: Alternate Beer Value. In the absence of desirable flavor, higher numbers are better.
Aging: A time-out for overly aggressive young beer. It's left to sit in a cool, dark place until it calms down.
A-S-T-M-O: Bullet points for a nerdy online beer review: appearance, smell, taste, mouthfeel, overall.
Balance: End of the "You got your hops in my malt! You got your malt in my hops!" debate.
Barrel-Aged: Beer left in an old wood barrel until it tastes something like an old wood barrel.
Bomber: A 22-ounce bottle. Also known as a "deuce-deuce" or a "dubby-wubby."
Brettanomyces: Genus of wild yeast also known as "Brett." Also the name of Luxembourg's sixth-most popular progressive jazz-metal band.
Can: Skunk-resistant, environmentally friendly packaging.
Cask ale: A keg of unpasteurized ale that ferments until poured into your glass warm and flat.
Dryhop: Hops dumped into beer after boiling to claim their aroma without their bitterness.
Finish: The last fleeting vestiges of flavor perceived at the very twilight of your swig.
Fresh Hop: Hop flowers dumped in brew right after harvest instead of drying out first.
Glassware: The type of vessel from which Europeans traditionally drank a particular style. Includes the chalice, snifter, tulip, flute and pint glass.
Growler: A big brown jug for patrons to take tap beer home. It's 64 ounces, like a Double Big Gulp.
Hop bomb: Beer that is overly bitter. Not considered pejorative.
Imperial (Measure): A 20-ounce glass of beer, just like the queen drinks.
Imperial (Strength): Highly alcoholic beer, just like the czar of Russia drinks.
Lacing: Streaks that form on a beer glass when it hasn't been properly washed.
Head: The foam at the top of a beer. Mostly a factor of how it's poured.
Horizontal: A sampling of related beers from one vintage.
Malty: Sweet and syrupy, like malted milk.
Mouthfeel: Ugly term for how thick, bubbly or oily a beer feels in your mouth. Also the name of Wisconsin's 16th-most-popular grunge-influenced jug band.
Oaked: Beer sat in an old wood barrel or on wood chips until it tastes like sawdust.
Pounder: A 16-ounce can of beer. Also known as a "tallboy" or "poundcake."
Roasty: Tastes a little like chocolate-covered espresso beans.
Session: Low alcohol brewskies perfect for an hours-long bro-down.
Skunky: Tastes vaguely like a weasel's anus.
Toasty: Tastes a little like toffee-coated sesame seeds.
Vertical: Sampling the same beer made in different years.
WetHop: Some of them real sticky, icky, icky hops.
Zwickel: German for "the sampling cock" from which beer can be tasted while in the tank.