Restaurant Guide 2013: Ocean City

3016 SE 82nd Ave., 771-2299,

[DON'T MAKE WAVES] You're going to have to forgive me, but I've never been able to learn much about the food at Ocean City. That's not for lack of experience, since my wife and I grab dim sum at this carpeted cavern on Southeast 82nd Avenue about once a month. But a midday meal at Ocean City is a confusing whirlwind of fried, gummy and fried-gummy things wheeled on little carts by people who are in a big hurry. Nothing is labeled and if you try to hold a cart pilot hostage long enough to figure out what exactly you're getting, she'll be frustrated, her boss will be pissed, the tub of porridge will be cold and everyone will hate you. So get the things I think are pot stickers (the ones they snip with scissors and douse with soy sauce) and the things I know are pork buns (pale, white orbs in steamer trays) and one of the flat, gelatinous beef-filled noodle things and, oh God, yes, the fried sesame balls and sure, why not, a bowl of congee. I have no idea what any of these things cost individually, but the total for two people will be something like $40. You should leave a nice tip, too, because you probably annoyed the shit out of the staff. 

Ideal meal: Ummm.

Best deal: Hmmm.

Pro tip: One time, I saw someone here arguing with a manager over the bill. This would be a good way to learn what everything is called. "Wait, we didn't have wu gok! Oh, that was the plate of feathery fried taro? Huh... Wait, we didn't have a siu mai!"

9:30 am-midnight daily. $$.


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