Chronic Problem

Marijuana addicts from around the world will gather in Portland this weekend. Here is one man's harrowing tale of pot addiction.

The whole time you're saying to yourself, "This is just weed. It's not like I'm on a real drug. I'm not homeless, or a criminal, or in terrible health. I'm just stoned—all the time, sure, but just stoned."

A lot of people seem to think that marijuana addiction doesn't even exist, or that there's no physical addiction. This makes it harder for people to reach out for help.

Here's a good definition of addiction: continued compulsive use despite negative consequences. You know, like, going through a red light because you're stoned, getting into a wreck, then going home and hitting the bong to "relax." I've done shit like that more than a few times.

And that's just the small-scale stuff. Chronic marijuana use doesn't exactly inspire great accomplishments in life, so let's say an addict is going nowhere, except home to get high, and that said addict gets depressed about it. Seeking inspiration or entertainment, that addict goes home and gets high. It sounds insane, because it is.

As for the physical addiction, more and more studies are finding that marijuana withdrawal is both difficult and dangerous, with particularly high suicide rates compared to other drug withdrawals, especially as pot gets more powerful. A lot of studies are also drawing heavy conclusions about what prolonged pot use does to your brain, especially if you start when you're young.

I smoked pot more or less every day from my teenage years into my early 30s. If I wasn't smoking, it was only because I didn't have any. I smoked before work, during work, after work, when I was out of work. I smoked to celebrate the good times and to mourn the bad times. I smoked pot the way alcoholics drink—alone and for no particular reason. My life got smaller and smaller, sadder and sadder. But my brain was so wrapped up in it that I kept reaching for the one thing that was making me miserable—the thing that used to work, back in the past.

Now, I'm not saying all pot smokers are addicts. That's up to each person to decide. I just know that I was living out this comparison thoroughly: Your average alcoholic's life drops off a cliff pretty quickly. A meth addict's, very quickly. For a pot addict, it's just a long, slow slide into the muck. Long-term, chronic pot smoking sucks the life out of you so slowly, you don't notice it's happening. We've always got big plans to change the world, right after we smoke this joint.

What happened for me? Well, I found out about Marijuana Anonymous. My first thought was what you may have just thought: No shit? They have that? Yes, they do. You can pretty much put "anonymous" behind any damn thing that folks get weird with, then go to a meeting for it.

Once in, it's the same program that AA created; just change "alcohol" to "marijuana" in the 12 Steps, and get to work, with the support of others who have been there. This month I plan to celebrate 15 years of continuous sobriety, thanks to MA.

Portland, as you might imagine, has a rather large MA community, and we're hosting the MA World Convention this weekend.

Marijuana Anonymous is spreading all over the world and helping thousands of people who, like me, found themselves looking up at a rather terrifying Girl Scout who seemed to be kicking their ass. 

GO: The Marijuana Anonymous World Convention is at the Portland Airport Holiday Inn, 8439 NE Columbia Blvd., Friday-Sunday, Feb. 13-15. Registration $100. See mawsconvention.org for details. Find local MA meetings at www.madistrict11.org.

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