Get down and deftly juggle multiple conversations with Purple Elvis tonight, as this sativa-dominant strain gives ADHD-like superpowers that allow for what at least looks like effective multitasking. You'll chat with everyone at the party, but won't remember a thing they said. Get it from Green Goddess Remedies.
Buddha's Tonic (pictured above)
Not all cannabis users want to get high out of their minds, and for those times there is the calming effects of Buddha's Tonic. Bred as a high-CBD painkiller, you'll get a feel-good almost buzz going, with a fraction of the usual sluggishness—a great pre-party or post-workout choice. Get it from Collective Awakenings.
The first thing you'll notice is the silence. With a high that hits above and behind the eyes, and an inward focus, this strain smells of sweet sugar with the requisite energy boost. Great for people working on their feet, standup desks, or West Wing-style walk-and-talks. Get it from Green Goddess Remedies.
One whiff of this puckering fuel and you'll be ready to get your groove on, but make sure you remember snacks. While it will give you the munchies, its clear-headed high makes it the perfect introvert's party tonic. You'll hate this in a quiet office, but love it come happy hour. Get it from Collective Awakenings.
Hybrid of legendary sativa strain Girl Scout Cookies and sleepy-time Cherry Pie, this strain will make you ponder your very existence. Unfortunately, it's a bit like a weak but balanced energy drink-and-vodka combo in that regard, as you'll say aloud great thoughts but have absolutely zero desire or ability to write them down. Get it from PDX TreeHouse Collective.
Looking to get zoned in instead of out? This inquisitive and aware strain is great for writing, reading or creating, not so much for socializing or video watching. Trips through TSA may trigger extremely short bouts of paranoia, but you'll catch yourself in time. Get it from Collective Awakenings.
With a high that comes straight through the face, a touch of dry mouth, and a smooth smoke out of a pipe, Ice Queen will slow you down but not completely space you out. Colors will seem brighter, ideas will seem better, and you'll think you're hilarious on Twitter. Get it from Collective Awakenings.
Like a caffeinated limeade, this energy-boosting strain will have you smelling citrus all over and excitable like the best bubble party you ever pretended to attend. The high hits the top of the forehead, and will probably have you speaking in a bit of a drawl, but you'll keep your focus. Get it from Nectar.
If we could package the "zone" and sell an impermanent, three-quarters potency version, this would be it. Its high in the middle of the forehead and temples will have you lifted, creative and focused, like a poor man's Will Hunting. Get it from Farma.
PUT YER FEET UP
Tasting and feeling like its title, this strain will have you relaxin' and actin' the fool, until you pass out without warning in the middle of Workaholics again. Goofy and playful with heavy couch lock, stay away from this during daytime or productive hours, but know you'll sleep like a dog on a couch. Get it from Collective Awakenings.
Nap-inducing weed is stupid. Give me either daylong, conscious euphoria or a night time of deep, blissful sleep, I say! Aurora hits the latter sweet spot with a high that gently pulls, instead of pushes, my eyelids to sleep while its pine-and-roses aroma makes me think of hammocks. Get it from Green Goddess Remedies.
Get your GIFs ready, because this strain is going to make them great. The first thing you'll notice is a rush to the forehead and face, followed by some trouble holding your head up, then a little spacing out, followed by a nap after you've dared to rest your eyelids. If you still suffer through late-night TV to fall asleep, this will make the hosts funnier. Get it from Collective Awakenings.
Rip City Kush
This piney potpourri makes me feel retired. Warm cheekbones with a trance not unlike long, headphone-clad coffee-shop work sessions made me crave delivery trucks but unable to muster energy enough to order delivery. Also a potent painkiller, it hits quick and strong, leaving the head clear but the back of your skull abuzz. Get it from PDX TreeHouse Collective.