533 SE Grand Ave., 230-7767, slowbar.net. 11:30 am-2:30 am daily.

Ocean, schmocean. The towering majesty of the onion-ringed Slow Burger—still my favorite in town after all these years—only matters here at its original home, where the grill has aged into its signature season and the cigarette smoke has mostly worn off the walls after multiple remodels, although the memory of it hovers in the air between you and whatever fucked-up gore porn they've got on the TV. Slow Bar is, as ever, a bartender favorite and a place to hide in deep, round booths less plush than they are all-enveloping, with pretty much only metal on the jukebox. New Portland doesn't exist here, and isn't really wanted. Order the same thing a few times, then ask for the usual.

Happy hour: 3-6 pm Monday-Friday, midnight-2:30 am Sunday-Thursday. $1 off drinks, $2-$5.50 bar food.

Entertainment: TV, jukebox.