No Sleep Till Ashland

Six hundred miles. Eight hours behind the wheel. Fifty dollars in gas. The entire discography of the Clash—twice. More gas-station coffee than you'd care to think about. The 72nd annual Oregon Shakespeare Festival, one of the country's oldest and most respected regional theater companies, opened last Friday in Ashland, so we hit the road to find out what's worth the drive and what isn't. Of course, this is just the beginning of this year's dramatical offerings: Still to come this season are The Tempest and Romeo and Juliet, August Wilson's Gem of the Ocean, MoliÈre's Tartuffe, Liz Diamond's Distracted, and Tracy's Tiger, a world-premiere musical based on the novella by William Saroyan. But hell, who thinks that far ahead? Here's the lowdown on what's showing right now, complete with a "Bardometer" to help you gauge when to put pedal to metal and when to take a theatrical detour.

As You Like It

A classic example of the "dress-up" school of Shakespeare studies, J.R. Sullivan's production squeezes the less-performed of Wild Bill's drag comedies into a fedora and kicks it onto the streets of Depression-era New York. The awkward gangland conceit bogs down the first act in a tedious parade of shouting and funny accents, and by the time the show finally drops its historical pretenses and settles into a nice, pastoral romance full of slapstick and song, you'll be so eager for it all to end that you might just miss the "ages of man" speech. Beautiful sets and lighting, though. Angus Bowmer Theatre. Closes Oct. 28.

The Cherry Orchard

Libby Appel, OSF's soon-to-be-retired artistic director, is a Chekhov fanatic—she says his plays express "a philosophy of living that is closely akin" to her own—so it's entirely fitting that her directorial swan song should be her own new adaptation of the gloomy Russian doctor's story of an aristocratic family who find themselves suddenly obsolete and out of cash. The remarkably talented ensemble plays the full range of Chekhov's work, from vulgar physical humor to heart-wrenching loss, with the help of graceful lighting and music. A must-see—if, y'know, three hours of melancholy Slavic decay is the sort of thing you're willing to drive eight hours to experience. Angus Bowmer Theatre. Closes July 8.

On the Razzle

Tom Stoppard's full-on, wild farce about a couple of 19th-century shopkeepers who, fed up with their menial lives, head to Vienna for one day of complete abandon (see The Matchmaker, Hello Dolly!, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, etc.) passes up the usual math and philosophy gags for unrestrained absurdity. OSF's Laird Williamson takes the silliness even further with an enormous set to rival that of any big-budget musical and fanciful costumes straight out of a Dr. Seuss nightmare. The phenomenal cast and Stoppard's nonstop wordplay have the audience rolling in the aisles. Classic! Angus Bowmer Theatre. Closes Oct. 28.

The Rabbit Hole

David Lindsay-Abaire's wildly popular Fuddy Meers gave him an unimpeachable reputation as a master of black comedy. With this show, about a middle-aged couple, along with the wife's mother and sister, grieving over the death of their 4-year-old son, he's trying to show that he can do serious drama, too. He can. When his heartbreaking dirge of a play meets OSF's hyperrealist set and a killer cast, the result is weeping. Lots of it. The script is good enough that it will probably be performed in Portland within a year or two, but, man, is it sad. Thanks, David. You've put me off having kids for good. New Theatre. Closes June 22.

Oregon Shakespeare Festival, 15 S Pioneer St., Ashland, Ore., 800-219-8161, orshakes.org. Performances run Tuesday-Sunday, Feb. 23-Oct. 28. $18-$75.

TRIPPE PLANNER

Still aren't ready to spring for a hotel room and $30 to $75 tickets? Need a little advice? Here's a handy guide for the indecisive.

ONE-DAY SPEED DEMON
Throw the top down, toss a case of Milwaukee's Best (breakfast) in the back seat and slam some Petty in the tape deck; drive like hell to catch the 1:30 pm Sunday matinee of On the Razzle; head back up I-5, letting the mountain wind whip away your lingering laughter; make it home in time for Battlestar Galactica.

STARVING ARTIST
Make it a teary two-show "weekend" with early-week performances of The Cherry Orchard and The Rabbit Hole, then cry yourself to sleep in your VW camper van or splurge on a room at Ashland's surprisingly clean Econo Lodge (50 Lowe Road, Ashland, Ore., 541-482-4700). Drive home in the morning, newly awakened to the overwhelming sorrow of it all. Alternative: Blow your mind with a Stoppard-Chekhov speedball and spend the next week in tragicomic withdrawal.

PAMPERED PEARLITE
You're richer than Croesus, so you may as well spend three nights at the Ashland Springs Hotel (ashlandspringshotel.com), passing the days with luxurious and exotic treatments at one of the city's many spas and dining on the "seasonally inspired cuisine" of some overpriced joint with a verb for a name. Take your fill of the theater, but stay away from The Cherry Orchard lest you be reminded of just how much the peasants hate you and your ilk.

ONE BARD

This production needs major roadside assistance.

Two BARDS

Like a car crash, you can't look away.

Three BARDS

A worthwhile destination.

Four BARDS

Put pedal to metal, you don't wanna miss this.

WWeek 2015