Friday, March 13

Flair: An Office Space Parody

[THEATER] Use all your willpower not to quote along with local director Trenton Shine's staging of that movie everyone has seen. Wear your flair. We're lazy, but we just might care. Yeaaaaah, so we'll see you on Saturday. Funhouse Lounge, 2432 SE 11th Ave., 841-6734. 7 pm Thursday-Saturday through March 28. $12.

Just Blaze

[MUSIC] Though he's produced tracks for everyone from Kendrick to Jay Z to Kanye, Justin Smith's increasingly frequent DJ sets are full of four-on-the-floor dance beats absent from his most recognizable hits, venturing into subgenres ranging from Baltimore club to hardcore trance. Branx, 320 SE 2nd Ave., 234-5683. 9 pm. $20 advance, $23 day of show, $30 VIP. 21kknd

Pepper and Bones Presents: Freaky Friday the 13th

[DANCE] Local burlesque producers Dee Dee Pepper and Wanda Bones team up (again) to celebrate Friday the 13th with a mix of sultry and superstitious performances. The show trades Freddy and Jason for Bones and Rummy Rose, whose new “double assles” routine is exactly what it sounds like. In Pepper and Bones’ “Freaky Friday,” the two swap places and get jealous, and Pepper gives us a mythology lesson of sorts in an act about St. Patrick and those pesky snakes. Funhouse Lounge, 2432 SE 11th Ave., 841-6734. 10 pm Friday, March 13. $10 . 21kknd.

Kells Smoker/ Kell's Iris St. Paddy's Festival

[EVENT] This is where a small percentage of Portland—the short ones with rosy, rosy cheeks—will utterly ruin their lives for four days. These are the East Coast Irish who've somehow washed up in sleepy Portland, ready to party. They will find each other at the Kells Smoker boxing match, and take improvised Guinness showers, and they will look sunburnt even 'neath the tents. Kells, 112 SW 2nd Ave. 227-4057, kellsirishportland.com. Through March 17.

Garbage People

[COMEDY] A Grinch-style story time for grownups where local comics tell dark tales of their own villainy. Brodie Kelly hosts a lineup including 2015 Bridgetown Comedy Festival pick David Mascorro. The Waypost, 3120 N Williams Ave., 367-3182. 9 pm Friday, March 13. $5. 18kknd.

Trash Talk, Ratking, Lee Bannon

[MUSIC] Aggressive music for skaters that doesn't give a fuck is making a comeback, though from unlikely sources. With help from producers as diverse as Steve Albini and the Alchemist, Trash Talk's neo-powerviolence is fast and brutal on record, and even more so live. Frontman Lee Spielman uses his mic as a weapon and treats his fans like Henry Rollins at his nihilistic peak. Trash Talk's most recent release, accurately titled No Peace, has riot-level energy that reclaims the sheer aggression of hardcore's past. Star Theater, 13 NW 6th Ave. 8 pm. $13. All ages.

Thirst Fest

[DRINK] Thirst is a wine, beer and liquor event for the LGBTQ crew, with lots of cocktails and libations available for the sampling, all meant to raise funds for the Cascade AIDS Project. More than 40 craft distilleries, breweries and wineries will offer their wares. Melody Ballroom, 615 SE Alder St., 232-2759. 5-10 pm Friday, 4-10 pm Saturday. $20-$25 per day includes seven tasting tokens.


Saturday, March 14

Tweedy, the Minus 5

[MUSIC] Take it from someone who’s seen Wilco 20-some times in six states over two decades: Jeff Tweedy’s side projects have never been especially great. Best-case scenario, it’s Jeff with an acoustic guitar, playing ancient B-sides like “Student Loan Stereo” and “Blasting Fonda.” Otherwise, it’s a demo-quality, drum-and-drone chant like “Laminated Cat,” which will eventually be polished into “Not for the Season,” with help from the band…and still get left off the next Wilco record so there’s enough tape to give “Reservations” some breathing room. Sukierae, Jeff’s record with his son, Spencer, on drums to form the “band” Tweedy, is soft, sparse and meditative. It’s also rather boring, at least compared to what the maestro has done with Nels Cline over the past decade. I’m not going, but if you are, have a few beers, savor the solo on “New Moon,” and try to imagine what the next Wilco record will sound like. Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside St., 225-0047. 9 pm. Sold out. All ages.

Pi Day

[EVENT] 3/14/15 at 9:26:53.58…It's Pi Day of 2015, very probably the only time in your life you will complete the circle. Celebrate at 9:26 am and pm. More precisely at 9:26 plus 53.5897932384626433832795028841971 seconds.

Cambrian Explosion, Foxy Lemon, Moon By You, Spirit Lake 

[MUSIC] One’s a little bit space-rock, the other’s a little boogie blues, but now, Cambrian Explosion and Foxy Lemon are united on the same record. Each gets a side on the simply titled Joint EP, serving as a “two-birds, one-stone” sampler for two of Portland’s rising young bands. Catch both at tonight’s release show. Kelly’s Olympian, 426 SW Washington St., 228-3669. 9 pm. $8. 21kknd. 

Durang Durang

[THEATER] Post5 Theatre collection of six one-act plays by absurdist playwright Christopher Durang, touches on grave issues but doesn't go deep. Instead, Durang glosses over anything too serious with a heavy dose of black humor. Buckle up; things get weird. Ridiculous lines fly fast, and the play's physical movements are extreme. But the ensemble cast handles absurd theater without missing a beat. Entire lines were drowned out by audience laughter at an opening-weekend performance when Pat Janowski lisped perfectly through a fallen face-lift and Phillip J. Berns awkwardly clawed across the floor toward his character's beloved collection of cocktail stirrers. One solemn moment resurfaces throughout, however: Unconnected characters softly repeat the line, "Now, if only I was happy." But you're not supposed to think about the sadness, plus there's hardly time for philosophizing between laughs. Post5 Theatre, 1666 SE Lambert St., 971-258-8584. 7:30 pm Fridays-Sundays through March 28. $15-$20.

Spellcaster, Spell, Skelator

[MUSIC] Spell is a young trio from Vancouver, B.C., that emulates the heyday of '80s metal with panache. Formed from the ashes of the slightly greener Stryker, Spell has so far spread its metal message with The Full Moon Sessions (now available on cassette), and is hitting Twilight Cafe as part of its maiden U.S. voyage. Spell does for Mercyful Fate what Uncle Acid does to Black Sabbath—that is to say, this is infectious, not overproduced, and delivers a true metal experience. In company tonight are local thrash heroes Spellcaster, and the inimitable Skelator. There will be no heads left unbanged at this one. Twilight Cafe and Bar, 1420 SE Powell Blvd., 232-3576. 8 pm. $8. 21kknd.


Sunday, March 15

Paley's Place 20th Anniversary

[FOOD] For $75, Vitaly Paley will make his favorite five dishes he's ever served into a tasting menu, which you can then eat. As always with birthday parties, it's best to RSVP. Paley's Place, 1204 NW 21st Ave., 243-2403. $75.

Robert Scheer

[BOOKS] If you've ever shopped for a product online then had that same product follow you to every subsequent website, it's hard not to get the feeling that you're being watched. And of course we are, as Robert Scheer points out in his new book, They Know Everything About You. Scheer argues that the information revolution will lead to the downfall of freedom as we convert to an ever more pervasive surveillance state. Although step one might be rethinking all those bong photos you posted to Instagram. Powell's City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 800- 878-7323. 7:30 pm. Free.

Pilot Season: From Beyond

[THEATER] Pick one: a "cosmic horror period comedy," 30-something gamers attempting socialization, improvised horror a la H.P. Lovecraft, improvised comedy a la Mean Girls. Audiences choose their favorite from four staged pilots over four weeks and the winner gets a full run in Action/Adventure's next season. This first installment, Brian Kuwabara's From Beyond, promises physical comedy, improv and puppets in 1920s style. Action/Adventure Theatre, 1050 SE Clinton St. 8 pm Thursday-Sunday, March 12-15. $12.

Cracker Unplugged

[MUSIC] Cracker has always shown inklings of less-rocking ambitions, even when songs like “Low” and “Euro-Trash Girl” were all the rage on the grunge-dominated charts of the early ’90s. The band’s debut showcased bits of the country trappings that are more prominent on the group’s recent double LP, Berkeley to Bakersfield, splicing revved-up garage anthems with the kind of steely honky-tonk you’d find in, well, Bakersfield. Whereas one side is filled with political unrest set to driving alt-rock guitars, the other fumbles with twanged acoustics that serve as an ode to California’s forgotten farmland. But given that this tour features only founding members David Lowery and Johnny Hickman, expect a reworked mix of songs new and old. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 288-3895. 7 pm. $20 advance, $22 day of show. 21kknd.

Body Sung Electric

[DANCE] The Agnieszka Laska Dancers have consistently paired modern dance with live classical music since forming in 2003, until now. Last December they celebrated the 75th birthday of Tomas Svoboda, one of Portland's most prominent composers, with an original work set to his classical scores. In Body Sung Electric the company will try a completely different style, swapping strings for synthesizers and live orchestras for canned tracks. Seven Agnieszka Laska dancers collaborated with local composers to create scores from electronic beats and manipulated everyday sounds. The resulting dances show a ride range, some darkly humorous, some modelled after orbiting planets, and some set to sparse sounds without any rhythm at all. Lincoln Hall, Portland State University, 1620 SW Park Ave., 715-1866. 8 pm Sunday, March 15. $10-$20. Free for PSU students.