Nothing says summer quite like mini golf, cheap beer and blisteringly hot parking lots.
Hotel deLuxe's the 19th Hole golf course, situated across the street from the hotel at Southwest 15th Avenue and Yamhill Street, is an excellent excuse to throw on your favorite pair of dad shorts, crush a Rainier or three, and loudly curse around small children because some of the holes are damn near impossible. Our culture crew sojourned to the 19th Hole to give the course a test drive and check out its selection of beer and food. The course is open from 3pm Wednesday through Sunday. Mini golf is $6 per person per nine-hole round, and hanging out is free.
Beer and Food
The beer and wine list is excellent and very reasonably priced for such a small operation. You can take your pick from a range of dad beers or craft cans like Grapefruit Sculpin and Vortex IPA, as well as a small selection of Oregon wines in a can. I went with a Rainier because the region's favorite crappy beer is the perfect beverage for hanging out in a hot parking lot and getting mad at my lack of golfing prowess. Other staff went with slightly more upscale options. Prices range from $3-$5 for beer and $5-8 for wine.
The Course Do not go into this course expecting to leverage your putting skills to a well-deserved victory. This course is designed with aesthetics in mind much more so than any kind of skill test. The course is made up of nine raised plastic turf platforms positioned across a parking lot. Each hole features ramps, loops and obstacles, many of which require the golfer to hit the ball up a ramp to a hole built into the ramp itself. At least two of these ramps are utterly unforgiving: Hit the ball with slightly too much force and it skips over the lip of the ramp off into asphalt oblivion; not hard enough, it pitifully rolls back down in a Sisyphean display of futility.
You should probably warm up your profanity-laden outbursts in the car because there is a good chance you will find yourself screaming yourself hoarse on at least one of these holes. If (like me) you are an extremely competitive person who canât stand losing meaningless games, mentally prepare yourself ahead of time and do your best to enjoy yourself.
Outside of the two nightmare holes, the course is very fun and forgiving. A lot of the obstacles can be easily avoided or are very reasonable to navigate. Hole-in-ones and twos are very to accomplish on most holes which makes the course very child and neophyte friendly.
And who won? Well, Culture Editor and secret golf pro Martin Cizmar landed two consecutive holes-in-one in rapid succession, including one on the nightmarish whirlpool of the second hole. But his flashy skills were no match for the consistency of Web Editor Lizzy Acker, who ended up winning the whole competition, narrowly edging out Martin by two strokes. Projects Editor Matthew struggled to keep up with everyone else and finished a distant last. (In case you're wondering, Stage and Screen Editor Enid Spitz left after three holes and Music Editor Matt Singer was very, very busy with our MFNW package.)
I came in a not-so-respectable third place after frustratedly giving up on the two most difficult holes and taking a 10-stroke penalty as punishment for my failure.
But I drank a beer, and got to hang out in the sun for an afternoon.
WWeek 2015
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