Gamevania: Your Week in Video Games

1. Gamespot.com reports that French game publisher Ubisoft have given le finger to the recession as sales hit $1.5 billion, up 18 percent. Try as we might, I could not find a surrender joke anywhere, they are doing that well.

1. Anyone that has ever played a game on Xbox Live and been team killed because the guy behind you was too impatient to wait for you to move, will privately have a bit of sympathy for 21-year-old German gamer David Heiss. NG4 reports that Heiss flew to the UK to track down fellow gamer Matthew Pyke—who he knew through a forum for the game Advanced Wars—and confront him. Then stab him. 86 times. The shocking part is that it was over a girl, not the game. Pre-pubescent Halo players everywhere can breathe a sigh of relief.

1. Bill Gates' plan to rule the universe hit an unexpected snag this week as Microsoft reported that its revenue was down for the first time. Ever. Roll that around in your head for a minute. A company that has been one of the biggest in the world for decades post its first ever loss. Although the game division reported an increase, the company as a hole took a 6 percent decrease according to Videogamenews.com. The Steve Jobs could not be reached for comment as he was busy laughing maniacally while stroking a cat.

1. No doubt in response to our scathing news blurb where we called it “creepy”, Konami has decided to kill the release of their Iraq based shooter Six Days in Fallujah, according to ZDNet.com. Well it was either us or the thousands of complaints from friends and family members of fallen soldiers that did it. And it was super creepy.

1. One of the great things about covering video games is that rumors can carry the weight of facts, and when they are wrong, no one really minds. In what may be a huge scoop, or what may be filler, 1up.com reports that an upgraded PSP is on the way. It may or may not have new features, and it could be called the PSP 2. Or the PSP Flip. Or the PSP Slide. But maybe the PSP Go!. It might come out in Fall. Take that news reporters!

1. It is hard to ignore the Madden cover curse. Two years ago Vince Young was on the cover, and he subsequently missed half the season with an injury. Last year they thought they would play it safe with Brett Favre on the cover, after all, what kind of trouble could a retired player get into? Well then he unretired, thus tater checking Packer fans everywhere. Oh, and then he tore a bicep and the Jets skidded right out of the playoffs. And it is not just them, Michael Vick was on it, Shawn Alexander, and Donovan McNabb all appeared the season they had major injuries. So instead of just cursing one player, Yahoo reports that Pittsburgh safety Troy Polamalu AND Arizona receiver Larry Fitzgerald will share the honor of this year's cover. Those poor bastards.

WWeek 2015