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Here’s How to Build Your Own Stoner Advent Calendar

Maybe we can make the days leading up to the year’s end feel more like an epic climax and less like a floppy conclusion.

An Advent calendar traditionally tells the story of the days leading to Christ's birth via a large wooden card with tiny "windows" that are opened each day to reveal a small candy. Over time, they have become a largely secular, mostly cardboard holiday fixture. So it can hardly be considered sacrilegious to propose replacing those treats with cannabis-infused edibles.

The cannabis industry has been effectively absorbing the artisan chocolate scene for a while now, so it seems high time to cobble together a medicated Advent calendar for the modern cannabis enthusiast. Maybe we can make the days leading up to the year's end feel more like an epic climax and less like a floppy conclusion.

DEC. 3 Laurie + MaryJane Fudge Yourself Chocolate Mint Fudge

The perfect dense holiday treat to kick off your adventures in being high all day.

DEC. 4 Grön Ruby Cacao

The dusky pink hue of this chocolate bar is the natural result of processing rare ruby cacao.

DEC. 5 Leif Goods Mint Hibiscus Bar

Leif's flagship is an effigy to a unique summer treat popular in founder Carrie Solomon's hometown of Baltimore: a peppermint stick jammed into a smooshed lemon.

DEC. 6 Junk Marshmallow Bon-Bons

A perfect mouthful of soft marshmallow, bittersweet dark chocolate and chocolate sea salt.

DEC. 7 Edibology Calming Cannacubes

Pea-sized, sea salt-finished chocolate formulated to either chill, uplift or sedate users.

DEC. 8 Brenda's Edibles Peanut Butter Bombs

No variety pack of chocolates is complete without some variation of chocolate and peanut butter.

DEC. 9 Honu Dark Chocolate Cherry Medallion

If sucking on Queen Anne cordial cherries is your idea of a festive good time, these medallions are your speed.

DEC. 10 Periodic Edibles Balance Caramel

Advent calendars are usually all chocolate, but caramels fit cozily in a variety box.

DEC. 11 Hapy Kitchen S'mores

Any of Hapy Kitchen's chocolate bars would be at home in your stoner Advent calendar, but my personal affinity for tiny cereal marshmallows make this bar an all-time fave.

DEC. 12 Peak Extracts Hash Herer Dark Chocolate

A few wild card windows will level up your calendar from cautious stoner to Rihanna levels.

DEC. 13 Serra x Woodblock Chocolate THC Dark Chocolate

Discerning stoners have been celebrating this marriage of awesome local cannabis and awesome local chocolate for a minute.

DEC. 14 Elbe's Edibles Triple Chocolate Cakeballs

Cake balls are a bit of a stretch if we're pitching treats that are easily stuffed into the carcass of an evacuated drug store Advent calendar, but…cake balls!

DEC. 15 Wyld Blood Orange White Chocolate

For lovers of white chocolate, this is a necessary inclusion. Bonus: They're shaped like little pink pot leaves.

DEC. 16 Chalice Farms Mocha Chocolate Blast

Clear the day for an adventure just in case the higher-caffeinated dose hits with extra festiveness.

DEC. 17 Laurie + MaryJane Fudgy Brownie Bites

These Fudgy Brownie Bites remain a stash box staple—the gooey, fudgy mouthfuls are edible perfection.

DEC. 18 Toro Ma Toro Bar Black

The deep, bittersweet chocolate's grassy cannabis notes are a superb example of chocolate-weed synthesis.

DEC. 19 Crop Circle Chocolates Orange-Yuzu Zest Truffles

These chocolates are so fancy they deserve an Advent calendar to themselves.

DEC. 20 Delta 9 Confections Muddy Buddies

A Midwestern suburban mom has entered the chat and she is begging you to include Muddy Buddies in your holiday celebrations.

DEC. 21 Smokiez Dark Chocolate English Toffee

Just north of the border, prolific Oregon gummy purveyors Smokiez is selling all manner of chocolate bar confections, including holiday-friendly English toffee.

DEC. 22 Hapy Kitchen Coffeelicious Caramel

This 50 mg mouthful is enough to keep the whole day both chilled out and euphoric.

DEC. 23 Golden Cookies & Cream Chocolate Blasts

Here's another gimme for white chocolate aficionados, with bite-size pieces perfectly sized to slip into an empty Advent window.

DEC. 24 Grace Notes Apricot & Coconut Milk Chocolate

The tropical suggestion of this low-dose edible lends a certain "Holidays in Paradise" flavor profile to this otherwise traditional chocolate collection.

DEC. 25 Mellow Vibes Double Chocolate

This crispy rice treat ain't fitting in your store-bought calendar, but eating it with your Christmas morning tea sure seems like a fitting way to commence one hell of an Advent calendar.