What to Get the Stoner Who Has Everything

Don’t overlook experience gifts for the cannabis lover in your life.

‘Tis the season to congratulate all your friends and fam on making it through another dystopian year. And what better way to celebrate such a feat than by bottoming out our holiday budgets on all manner of cannabis-themed merriment, enrichment and straight-up opulence.

For 2021, our canna gift guide is less a nudge to get your canna-capitalist rocks off and more of an end-of-the-world stoner wishlist that just happens to feature a few of our fave local goods and services. This year, when shopping for your cannathusiast self or the cannasseurs in your cypher, consider items that celebrate self-love, wellness, culture and art, the occasional gender-neutral spa service, and functional pothead fashion.

Heir Waterpipe

Heir’s contemporary reimagining of a classic beaker bong is so sleek, so easy to smoke from, and so simple to disassemble and clean that it’s made me side-eye every other smoking device in my home. A deviation from the standard beaker or straight bong (where the downtube is situated above the base), Heir’s branching ceramic mouthpiece puts the bowl directly in the user’s eyeline. It also houses a ceramic downstem that easily screws apart from the water chamber for super-easy cleanup. The waterpipe is pricier than a standard 12-inch head-shop bong, but the smart design, posh aesthetic and freedom from of unscrubbable, stinky resin pockets make the whole package feel worth the extra coin.

Get it from: smokeheir.com

Lazarus Naturals x Ranger Full Spectrum CBD Chocolate Bar

If you’re keeping chocolate stocking stuffers on your gift-giving radar, but feel less than confident about dosing your giftees, consider the newest collab from Lazarus Naturals and Ranger Chocolate. This CBD-infused 70% dark chocolate bar is a gorgeous way to celebrate both Oregon’s craft chocolate and craft cannabis industries and a stellar introduction for cannacurious friends and family members with lower or nonexistent THC tolerances. Pro tip: One bar for each of the stockings hung can temper all the holiday stress messes.

Get it from: lazarusnaturals.com

Nomsternailz Private Manicure

When shopping for the aesthetic stoner, it’s easy to get lost in the mire of contemporary lifestyle canna-products, which is precisely why you should instead consider the gift of experience. Nomsternailz is a private, cannabis-friendly, mobile nail service serving the greater Portland metro area and creating opulent, private nail salon experiences at whatever (consumption-friendly) location you secure. Though Nomster also operates out of a studio in the Alphabet District, its weed-positive willingness to travel and its dope nail services are what make it such a hot commodity. Pro tip: Stock your stash box pre-appointment with Meraki pre-rolls so you’ve got something nice to dangle between your fresh tips.

Book a sesh: nomsternailz.com

Make & Mary Relax Gift Set

While Make & Mary’s branding feels decidedly femme, its product line is universally agreeable, particularly among those for whom wellness is the primary cosmetic. Its Relax Gift Set, for example, is a curated trio of spa indulgences designed to both relax and rejuvenate. If there’s a certain someone on your gift list whom you’d love to pamper for at least an evening, this set might be worth your attention. The complete package includes a satchel of hemp-infused herbal tea, a bath bomb formulated with 100 mg of CBD, and an aromatherapeutic candle that features a host of essential oils, including hemp.

Get it from: Make & Mary, 2506 NE Sandy Blvd., 503-444-7608, makeandmary.com.

High Society Collection Sweet Jane Mask Chain, paired with Untamed Humans Mask Relief Mist

Of all the dystopia-adjacent products that came through our feed this year, none was so covetable as High Society’s Sweet Jane Mask Chain. From a company best known for creative, multipurpose joint holders that moonlight as crowns, necklace charms and bun pins, High Society’s mask chain is a logical addition to its line of maximalist pothead grandeur. And yes, you can use it with your eyeglasses as well.

Pro tip: Pair it with a bottle of Untamed Human’s skin-refreshing mask relief mist and you’ve got an inarguably dope apocalypse care package.

Get them from: highsocietycollection.com, untamedhumans.com

Aurora Elixirs Hemp Soda Gift Set

Dazzle at your most ostentatious this year with a gift box from Aurora Elixirs: a local, small-batch soda company whose line of 25 mg, broad-spectrum hemp CBD sodas make a great addition to any canna-friendly wet bar. These bottled fizzies are available in a gift set featuring four flavors: rosemary grapefruit, black currant spruce, cayenne citron and lavender orange. The set also comes with two gold, stainless steel straws in a velvet carrying pouch and a stylish matching gold bottle opener. Altogether, it’s a thoughtful, affordably chic introduction to CBD for the uninitiated and posh, as well as a brisk addition to an established cannabis user and bubble water snob’s drink chest.

Get it from: Market of Choice, various locations.