Halloweed should be a national holiday.
Stoners have made up a lot of holidays; CBD Day, Oil Day, National Hemp Day, Legalization Day and, of course, 4/20. So, in the pantheon of imagined, sacred days, Halloweed makes total sense. Hear me out: In the ethereal hours after the Halloween revelry has died down but before Día de los Muertos festivities have commenced, there exists a moment when the veil separating the worlds of the living and dead is at its thinnest and chocolate everywhere just went on sale.
Halloweed is when adults get to stock up on not just the drugstore variety packs, but also the cannabis candies, gummies and potions that can prepare us to commune with the spirits of our ancestors.
Obviously, Halloweed will inevitably become a real, national holiday in no time (you’re welcome), and when that happens, these are the candies I’ll have in my plastic pumpkin pail alongside all of the fun-size confections I can score from Walgreens. Feel free to stock up now and keep the spirit of Halloweed going strong through November. Trick or treat, homies, see you on the moon.
Drops High-Dose Gummies
For stoners with high tolerances, a 100-milligram gummy from Drops might be the key to a night on the astral plane. The candies are all made with a solventless live rosin sourced from cannabis grown at the company’s outdoor farm in the Willamette Valley, and the resulting edibles deliver multifaceted highs that shimmer brighter than those resulting from chemically extracted concentrates. Pair with the classic, non-cannabis Dots gummies that come in a bright yellow box or Mike and Ikes for a candy hangover vibe.
BUY: Pakalolo PDX, 1528 SE Holgate Blvd., 503-369-8955, pakalolopdx.com.
Mule Extracts Kicker
My own experience with Mule gummies has been consistently great. When I had a 25-milligram ceiling, I could easily portion the cube of jelly to my own preference. Then, when that ceiling rose to 50 milligrams, half a gummy would deliver predictable, strain-specific results. Now that I need 100 milligrams to properly space walk, these gummies still shift my scope without knocking me out. Bonus: The seasonal flavors are very on brand for Haloweed. Pair with peach rings or Swedish Fish for a jaw workout.
BUY: Plane Jane’s Dispensary, 10530 NE Simpson St., 971-255-0999, planejanespdx.com.
Grön Chocolate Mega Pearls
Another pastille-style confection that’s perfect for the adult trick-or-treater is Grön’s Mega Pearls, gumball-sized, semi-firm gummies dusted with sparkling sugar. These candies have a special-occasion, borderline-opulent vibe, and at 100 milligrams per pearl, are not for the novice. The gummies are available in a variety of real fruit flavors, and aside from a 1-to-1 CBD-THC version, all deliver similar, full-spectrum effects. Pair with Skittles and sour straws to keep the fruity sugar vibes sparkling.
BUY: Satchel, 6900 N Interstate Ave., 503-206-4725, satchelpdx.com.
Laurie + MaryJane Fudge Yourself
Stoners who prefer chocolate over fruity candy will appreciate Laurie + MaryJane’s rich fudge, which is a cross between a confection you’d find at a seaside chocolatier and your grandmother’s holiday classic treat. Which is to say, its formulation is lovingly crafted. In keeping with the hippie grandma ethos, all of this local company’s products are made with full-spectrum, whole-plant coconut oil infusions rather than contemporary extracts. Pair with a Russell Stover variety pack, then call your grandma.
BUY: Curaleaf, 5103 NE Fremont St., 503-477-7254, curaleaf.com.
Hapy Kitchen S’mores Chocolate Bar
Hapy Kitchen’s bite-sized chocolate bars are perfect any time of year, but the s’mores bar, which contains graham crackers and miniature marshmallows, feels especially well suited for Halloween consumption. The bars are potent, but easily portioned, so sharing them with your coven is a good idea if you hang in a low-tolerance gang. Pair with Wonka Bars and Milk Duds and pray you keep your tooth fillings.
BUY: Northwest Cannabis Company, 17937 SW McEwan Road, 971-634-4400, northwestcannabis.com.
Periodic Edibles Caramels
A buttery chunk of caramel makes me swoon even when it’s not medicated, so Periodic caramels make me double swoon. The 100-milligram rectangles of sugar are easy to share with pals, but also make for a dynamic, single-serving treat when doled out with intention. One of these caramels accompanied by a mug of hot apple cider would make for either a perfect fall meditation session or an afternoon orchard party—depending on your high. Pair with salted caramel truffles to keep from overindulging in the too-delicious weed version.
BUY: MindRite Recreational Cannabis Dispensary, 1780 NW Marshall St., 503-477-4430, mindritepdx.com.
Junk Popping Candy Dynamites!
It wouldn’t be Halloweed without cannabis-infused Pop Rocks. Junk’s version comes in three flavors: watermelon, sour orange and strawberry, and while a 100-milligram package can be messily split between friends, real sugar fiends know a single serving when they see one. So if your tolerance for sugar is higher than your tolerance for THC, start slow rather than dumping the whole bag directly into your mouth. Pair with classic Pop Rocks, at least one Ring Pop, and a glass of Champagne, because you’re an adult now.
BUY: Diem Cannabis, 5903 SE Milwaukie Ave., 503-610-9019, hellodiem.com/portland.