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So, you made it to the holidays. Congratulations. You should be very proud of yourself. This was a helluva year.
Between salaries that aren’t keeping up with the cost of living, crippling inflation, and a still-raging pandemic that continues to punish frontline and minimum wage workers, it’s a miracle we haven’t collectively canceled society yet. But here we are, lucky enough to be sketching out gift lists for people we love and cherish. Pardon my Xmas blasphemy but, Jesus Christ, this is a disorienting era.
Either way, broke or nah, the season of giving has arrived. For those with mad ducats to drop, this can be the time of year to flex your paychecks by showing people how much you appreciate them with lavish goods. For those with leaner budgets, take it from a stoner: A pre-roll is an excellent gift under $5, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. So whether you’re doing it for baby Jesus, the spirit of capitalism, or simply for the sake of generosity, consider a few of these stoner-approved gifts for the cannathusiasts on your list.
For the Stoner Adventurer: Rogue Paq Ritual Case
The super-posh, traveling cannathusiast might appreciate this sleek, compact, smell-proof carrying case. Rogue Paq ritual cases neatly roll open, expanding like a chef’s knife holder to display areas for flower, smoking utensils, a small grinder, an included gold-plated roach clip, and even a few pothead odds and ends. The whole affair feels very ceremonial once rolled out, like a traveling weed tray but soft and opulent. Available in vegan leather or lambskin, the case is also customizable, so you can even have your adventure-minded recipient’s name etched into the leather. $130-$355.
BUY: roguepaq.com
For the Home Spa-Obsessed Stoner: Radlands CBD Wellness Products
This Bend-based CBD brand sells a simple lineup of straightforward self-care products, including lip balm, bath salts, a full-spectrum tincture, and a medicated balm. Each product is formulated with full-spectrum hemp extracts and delivers soothing effects. My favorites are the citrusy, flowery bath salts, which perfume an entire bathroom, as well as the lip balm, a fabulous low-cost stocking stuffer for anyone who’s got chapped bong lips. $3.95-$39.95.
BUY: radlandscbd.com
For the Spiritual Dabber: Sand Castle Special Reserve Temple Ball
For the uninitiated, temple balls are small spheres of aged, hand-rolled hashish. Rolling temple balls is an ancient practice that results in a uniquely special product. These are more complex, flavorwise, than straightforward cold-water hash, and produce a much creamer, milkier smoke. Puffing temple balls is a coveted stoner experience, and Sand Castle’s certainly have the special-occasion, celebratory vibe that suits gifting season. But let’s be real: Every season is temple ball season if you’re ‘bout that life. Prices vary by dispensary.
BUY: sandcastlehash.com
For the Hand-Blown Oil Rig Devotee: G Pen Hyer Vaporizer
Before electronic dab rigs became the standard, many of the constant dabbers in my life relied on a tool called an electronic nail. The “nail” was typically a small metal coil that would wrap around the bowl of the dab rig to maintain high heat without a torch. These tools became obsolete with the advent of e-rigs from brands like Puffco and Dr.Dabber, which traded the exposed red hot coils and butane torches for internal heating mechanisms. But for those unwilling to part with their decorative glass, the choice remained: e-nail or torch. The G Pen Hyer, however, marries the convenience of an e-rig, the portability of a torch, and the even heat of an e-nail. The unit attaches to an existing rig, acting as a rechargeable, portable electric bowl, keeping temperature even and the glass pristine. Bonus: It can be used with flower as well as concentrates. $249.95.
BUY: gpen.com
For the Esoteric Pothead: The Psychic Mary Tarot Deck
At first blush, these Rider-Waite-based, cannabis-themed tarot cards may seem a bit superficial and simple, but after a thorough reading, I can attest they feature particularly resonant images that will tickle very specific parts of a stoner’s brain. The iconography is perfectly in sync with both traditional tarot and contemporary cannabis use, but in a way that’s accessible to people new to both tarot readings and weed. $32.
BUY: psychicmary.com
For the Life of the Party: Suddenly Stoned
Frankly, this is a great gift for any of your social homies, not just the stoner-gamer types. This game is simple to play: Folks take turns picking cards that contain directions like, “Draw the person to your right,” and “Play hide and seek,” or silly question prompts meant to stump the very stoned like, “Guess the time,” and “If you had to eat a human, which part would you eat first? Explain your answer.” It’s a great icebreaker for a small party of pals, 3 to 8 players to be exact, but the game is informal enough to play passively with a large group, and could be a great way to cap off a holiday dinner party. $15.
BUY: breakinggames.com/products/suddenly-stoned
