Stoned at Home in Winter

The final slog until spring calls for the coziest cultivars.

Potlander 5014 (Whitney McPhie)

Despite the tease of sporadic sunny days, or the predictions of a celebrity groundhog, February in Portland is the pits, and waiting for springtime is a fool’s game. We’ve got, like, two more mud seasons and a revenge winter before it’s time to frolic in the tulips. It’s enough to keep even the outdoorsiest potheads stoned at home, but thankfully, there are a (few types of) weed for that.

Cannathusiasts at all levels have the option to hunker down with cultivars bred for ultimate cozy feelings. Bottom line, if you’re on the hunt for herb that emotionally tempers these frigid, low-key isolating conditions, consider these strains. Each of them could transform your end-of-winter, ice-hater attitude from bundled and misanthropic to something approaching hygge.

Gary Payton, 20%–25% THC

For users who tune in for a deep, dank super-stoney high, Gary Payton is a stash box necessity. This cross of the bright, uplifting Y strain and the popular GSC phenotype Snowman is popular with therapeutic users for its light sedative effects woven into a sparkling euphoria. Users describe highs that are focused and blissful, lending themselves well to low-stakes creativity (think coloring book shenanigans or spacey journaling) and/or giggly astro traveling, i.e. watching space documentaries. Medicinal users report relief from anxiety, depression and migraines as well as an easing of ADHD and ADD symptoms. Expect a sour, gassy perfume and flowery, diesel exhale.

Get it from: Broadway Cannabis Market, 427 NW Broadway, 503-212-0608,

Jealousy, 25%–30% THC

Users who, despite the cozy theme, prefer an uplifting high to a heavy stone might appreciate Jealousy, a 50-50 cross of crowd-pleasing faves Gelato 41 and Sherbert, both popular for their calm euphoric effects and fizzy, elastic body highs. Jealousy reportedly delivers a bouncy body euphoria tempered by a sugary crystalline focus, potentially a panacea for the unenthusiastically homebound, perpetually husting flowerpots among us. Therapeutic users describe relief from depression, nausea and fatigue, while recreational users celebrate Jealousy as a top-tier wake-and-bake selection. Expect an earthy, fruity aroma and a sweet-sour exhale.

Get it from: Somewhere, 2128 NW Overton St., 503-384-2466,

Super Boof, 25%–30% THC

Cannathusiasts interested in big-brain, super-cerebral, artistic highs might appreciate the effects of Super Boof, a Black Cherry Punch-Tropicana Cookies cross that reportedly delivers an intense, sometimes swooning, magic-carpet-ride head high that is both meditative and uplifting. Cashmere body effects that are comforting without becoming overly sedative are described by both medicinal and rec users, with a common thread being access to some latent or rarely exploited stoner creativity. Dedicated therapeutic Super Boof users describe relief from fibromyalgia and gastrointestinal disorders as well as chronic pain and associated depression. Everyone reports cool art projects. Expect a funky, citrusy nose and a sweet, grassy exhale.

Get it from: Power Plant on Thurman, 2384 NW Thurman St., 971-803-7970,

Sour Apple, 15%–20% THC

If restrictively chilly weather has you feeling especially isolated, Sour Apple might be the perfect choice before making some obligatory digital connections (i.e., getting on the phone with a bestie for a healthy serving of hawt tea). Sour Apple is a hybrid of two classic parent strains: Sour Diesel and Cinderella 99. The resulting cross reportedly delivers a relaxing yet sociable buzz that’s chatty and uplifting without spilling into obnoxious territory. Therapeutic users report relief from inflammation, insomnia, chronic pain, depression and loss of appetite (better serve that tea with some crumpets). Expect a gassy, funky fruit perfume and a suggestion of sweet, ripe apple on the exhale.

Get it from: Rose Budz, 2410 N Mississippi Ave., 503-208-3955,

Black Sherbet, 15%–25% THC

Also known as Black Sherb, Black Diamond Sherb, or Black Diamond Sherbet, this stoney hybrid of Black Diamond and Sherbet Sunset has a reputation for delivering sensual highs that are outright sexy, glittery and euphoric. Rec users describe delayed effects that creep up slowly (hello, creeper weed) before blossoming into tingly physical arousal and a blissed-out head high. Therapeutic users describe relief from bipolar disorder and epilepsy as well as depression and stress. Rec users are mostly using it in the boudoir, if you get what I’m saying. Partner(s) suggested but not required. Expect a sharp, piney nose and a gassy, botanical exhale.

Get it from: Zion, 2331 SW 6th Ave., 971-255-1758,

Willamette Week’s reporting has concrete impacts that change laws, force action from civic leaders, and drive compromised politicians from public office. Support WW's journalism today.