Haute-N-Ready: Wingtoberfest

In preparation for Sonic selling wings at half-price, I tried their four new wing sauces

Boneless wings are an oft-ridiculed member the fried chicken world. True Wing Fans will only eat their wings with bone-in, because it imparts flavor or something. The chicken tenders fan wonder why anyone would pay premium prices for their breaded, boneless chicken to be slathered in sauce. (In fact, Fire on the Mountain's boneless wings are literally just tenders covered in sauce and also good as hell.) But I have a startling admission to make: I prefer boneless wings. So I was eager to head out to Sonic once the drive-in chain announced four new boneless wings flavors.

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"But how could you, our tastemaker and idol, prefer boneless wings?" you're no doubt wondering. To be perfectly honest, I do not like to get my hands dirty, nor do I like trying to pry small bits of chicken off an inedible, greasy bone. The boneless wing circumvents this by being little more than white chicken meat that's been breaded and soaked in sauce. It emphasizes the chicken wing's true role: that of a sauce delivery system.

My love affair with the boneless wing began back when KFC introduced it's own when I was in high school. The Asian and Honey BBQ sauces left much to be desired but that Blazin' Buffalo Sauce was something else. From when I opened my first box and immediately began coughing at the fumes, I knew that I was about to eat something that would change my life.

KFC has since discontinued those wings.

Buffalo Wild Wings has some good sauce options, but the prices are always far higher than they should be. It's as if I am being charged extra to try to eat away the frustration of this Oregon football season. Sonic Drive-In, on the other hand, has an improbably sterling reputation when it comes to its own boneless wings.

Their Buffalo sauce is serviceable if bland, but what drew me out to Sonic were the four new flavors: Garlic Parmesan, Honey BBQ, Extreme Habanero and Island Fire. The wings here are more sensibly priced than at BWW at $4.49 for a six-piece and $8.79 for a 12-piece. On October 15th, later this week, 6 and 12 orders of wings are half off as part of Wingtoberfest. (Drinks are also half-off during Happy Hour to further create the pub vibe, provided you're okay with replacing the bar with your car and the beer with a Green Apple Slush with NERDS® Candy.)

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The first thing that stands out when the server brings them out to your car is the size. These are actually fairly substantial boneless wings. They have the irregular, bulbous shape that separates the boneless wing from the chicken tender. ("How is a boneless wing different from a chicken tender?" is poultry's version of the great "Is a hot dog a sandwich?" debate. The answer is "yes" with a "but.") The grainy white meat is still fairly moist in these wings, which are larger and contain far more eat than a bone-in wing. I consumed 18 boneless wings while researching this topic, which amounted to nearly 2,000 calories.

Garlic Parmesan

This flavor is essentially a rip-off of Buffalo Wild Wings' solid, salty mild sauce. The creamy sauce hits all the right notes as its inspiration. It's smooth. It's savory. It adds about 200 more calories to your wings order than the other options.

Island Fire

This is actually from an old Sonic menu item that has been brought back for these wings. It's inspired by Caribbean seasonings, but alas the jerk flavor is very muted here. The Island Fire has the candy-like flavor that plagues so many fast food attempts at sweet and spicy sauces.

Honey BBQ

I did not order this, partly due to Sonic's arcane sauce mixing rules—you can only split 12- and 24-piece orders of wings in half with sauce, never thirds—and partly because Honey BBQ is a trash flavor.

Extreme Habanero

This is what excited me most and it fully lived up to my expectations. These wings were hot. These wings were I-needed-to-order-a-milkshake hot. These wings were I-needed-to-ask-for-more-napkins-to-wipe-the-sweat-off-my-forehead hot. They were also good. Habanero has always had a nice citrusy flavor to its burn to me, and these wings somewhat touched on it. But, mostly, I was just happy to finally eat something truly spice in the year that fast food became obsessed with the ghost pepper.

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