Wednesday Jan. 6
[PUNK POET] Listen, Patti Smith is playing Horses—one of the greatest albums ever recorded—in its entirety, and you're sitting on your ass wasting time instead of selling your own mother in order to buy tickets to this goddamn event of the year. What the hell is wrong with you? Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, 1037 SW Broadway, 248-4255. 8 pm. $39.50-$52.50. All ages.
Thursday Jan. 7
Cadence Festival of the Unknown
[JAZZ TALES] Except for the tune that became "Lady Sings the Blues," Herbie Nichols never achieved the fame of fellow innovative jazz pianist Thelonious Monk. This performance by David Haney mixes music and narration, recounting a tale about Nichols taking a gig on a Turkish cruise ship that went comically awry. Classic Pianos, 3003 SE Milwaukie Ave., 239-9969. 8 pm. $10. All ages.
Preserving the Japanese Way Dinner
Lincoln's Jenn Louis will team with Preserving the Japanese Way author Nancy Singleton Hachisu for a $25 three-course dinner with salty, fermenty and otherwise preserved bits from Hachisu's cookbook, including sake ice cream, noodles with meat sauce, and miso-plum-pickled turnips. Lincoln, 3808 N Williams Ave., 288-6200, lincolnpdx.com. 6:30 pm. $25. Reservations recommended.
Friday Jan. 8
Remarkable Oregon Women
Jennifer Chambers explores some of the most amazing stories of women standing up and standing out in the state—including Laura Stockton Starcher, who outpolled her husband to become mayor of Umatilla in 1916. Powell's City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 228-4651. 7:30 pm. Free.
Saturday Jan. 9
The Liberators' 10th Birthday
[IMPROV] One of Portland's most established, and best, improv troupes is celebrating its 10th birthday and its new home. The quartet of veteran comics is back together for the first time since August. The Siren Theater, 315 NW Davis St., theliberators.net. 8 pm. $12 advance, $15 day of event.
Tuesday Jan. 12
The Book of Mormon
[HALLELUJAH CHORUS] Jon Stewart said it's "so good it makes me angry." If you haven't heard the word, this everything-busting musical from the creators of South Park is the pinnacle of our generation's theater. Keller Auditorium, 222 SW Clay St., 800-273-1530. 7:30 pm. $40-$154.