We can never know if, back in the day, Clyde Drexler was peeved about slow service at Jake's Famous Crayfish or Ringside Grill. For all the legends of Rasheed Wallace, there are not, to the best of my knowledge, any tales of him wondering why he wasn't getting seated at Le Bistro Montage. And, honestly, I don't even know where Bill Walton ate dinner.
But we live in post-modern times, and the textures of the lives of athletes are known to pretty much everyone, all the time. Occasionally it is a blessing—they have dogs and cute children they enjoy showing off on social media, and sometimes even take a second out of their day to call some hideous rancid president "U Bum" for the edification and enjoyment of all people.
Just as often, though, the online exploits of our sports heroes are like those of all people—they are kind of weird.
Take, for instance, this weekend, when Damian Lillard, the Blazers' starting point guard, fired off a tweet about the downtown Bamboo Sushi location:
I’m done with bamboo sushi on 12th in Portland smh… no love
— Damian Lillard (@Dame_Lillard) September 23, 2018
The problem, it seemed, was that he was not getting a table despite the fact that there were, as best as he could tell, some tables available.
A flood of follow-up posts followed. Responding to a Tweet from a Miami-area reporter declaring Bamboo "the spot," Lillard bluntly stated that it "used to be until tonight." He refused to dissuade a poster suggesting he might boycott. When asked about what happened, he let it out: "Disrespect happened." Jusuf Nurkic, the Blazers' beefy, gold-chain sporting center, chimed in to declare the Portland dining institution "overrated."
Eventually, Bamboo responded via its own Twitter:
Hi Damian! Apologies that we weren’t able to seat you right away at SW but we hope you’re enjoying your night at our NW location!
— Bamboo Sushi (@bamboosushi) September 23, 2018
Perhaps in an attempt to offset any questions about it, Casey Holdahl, the Blazers' in-house beat writer, told the fleshed-out tale on Twitter the morning of Media Day: "He went to his regular Bamboo Sushi, which he claims to eat at 3 times a week, they told him it would be an hour though he could see seats available, so he went to another Bamboo Sushi and ate there."
Lillard appears eager to bury the beef. Later on Saturday, when it was suggested that the restaurant was probably just understaffed, he responded: "Maybe you're right, and I was just hungry." And at Media Day, when asked—by me—what restaurants he enjoys in Portland, he cited Bamboo by name.
Who among us is innocent of the sin of overreacting to something absurd while hungry? Dame, despite the clutch shot-making and inclusive NBA leadership, is human after all.