Portland Will Soon Have an Upscale Swinger's Club (No Utilikilts Allowed!)

Club Privata will open in the space formerly occupied by Ron Jeremy's former sex club.

It's been a busy summer in the Portland sex scene. Portland's first S&M coffe shop The Moonfyre Cafe was announced, a strange promo video from Southeast Portland swinger's club the Velvet Rope resurfaced and was deleted and Esquire interviewed two Portlanders about their experience in the Burning Man Orgy Tent.

Related: Portland Is About to Get Its First S&M Club and Coffee Shop

Now, an upscale swinger's club is about to officially open—or, as they're billing themselves: "Portland's only upscale lifestyle nightclub."

Club Privata will open officially in the space formerly occupied by Ron Jeremy's former sex club Club Sesso on Saturday, Sept. 17.

Owner Paul Smith closed Sesso in June 2015, after being open for six years and one day. The closure came after the Assistant Fire Marshal Doug Jones allegedly protected Sesso from code violations concerning club capacity. Sesso was also the location of an MTV True Life episode: I Want A Threesome.

Related: A former regular at Club Sesso says the sex club's manager spoke of a special relationship with the fire bureau.

Privata had a soft opening already—but its hard, grand opening on Sept. 17 will be a masquerade-themed party with performances from Emmy-nominated drag star Sasha Scarlett, an aerial display by A-WOL Dance Collective, an all-male dance review and door prizes.

There's no word yet on what those door prizes will be.

Club Privata has been in the works for more than a year.

Last October, Happy Valley residents, and former Sesso managers Charles and Holly Redeau, filed for a liquor license to reopen Club Sesso as an "upscale lifestyle club."

Related: Ron Jeremy's Club Sesso May Reopen as Spanking-New "Upscale Lifestyle Club"

And man, did they do it! This place has a dress code.

A membership for a couple ranges from $10-$100 for a 10-day to one-year membership. Single men pay $30-$150, and single women only pay $10-$50. (Thanks for getting on top of that wage gap, club Privata!)

This includes buffet access and non-alcoholic drinks, but not the door fee. Door fees range from $10-$100, but are always cheapest for single women.

Privata might also be Portland's only sexy club with a strict dress code. It's certainly the only one where women, but not men, are allowed to walk around naked.

For men, the dress code is an extensive six-paragraph list that actually just ends up sounding much like the dress code for the Catholic high school I attended:

Especially this one: "Men must remain fully clothed unless they are in the middle of a sex act."

Women, on the other hand, are allowed to walk around naked. I'm not yet sure how I feel about this. Their dress code is also more open to interpretation:

Hopefully that last line condones the wearing of sweats.

And hey—Privata may not have hot tubs like the Velvet Rope, but if you're nervous about missing out on a buffet, Privata's got one too.

The three-story club consists of numerous play rooms, though the website says they consider the entire club to be a play room, "except in front of the buffet area for health reasons."

The first and seconds floors are full of private rooms. The second floor also has an orgy bed, which is two king-sized mattresses next to each other, and surrounded by a bar, a voyeur room and a room with a "frog chair." The third floor also has a second bar and a couples-only sex lounge.

Club Privata also has weekly parties—like "Gang Bang Night," "Naughty School Girl Night" and "Bacon Night."

There's also a long list of reasonable-seeming rules. of decorum:

"No Cell Phone Use. Period

No weapons of any kind are allowed

Ask Before You Touch – Ask Once and Only Once

No Means NO

Do Not Stalk People

Treat Everyone with Dignity and Respect

Do Not Open Closed Doors or Curtains

Do Not Interrupt Others

Do Not Be Creepy or make other members uncomfortable by your actions

Do Not Masturbate Outside Play Areas

Clean Up Your Own Mess

No photography or video taping is allowed

No E cigarettes

Use Common Sense!"

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