627 SE Morrison St., 503-889-0185, creepys.business.site.
It doesn't take long within this strategically dim and unabashedly kooky bar to start having a good time. Best described as a polished, nightmare carnival-themed parlor, it has paintings with eyes that shift their gaze across the room and a boozy coffee slushie topped with real coffee grounds.
2. The Lovecraft Bar
421 SE Grand Ave., thelovecraftbar.com.
Modeled after the imagery of the famously problematic early 20th century horror writer, the Lovecraft is a testament to old-school Portland subcultures and gothy nostalgia. Decked out in horror iconography and glowing pentagrams, the club hosts nightly dance parties and live music, as well as the occasional burlesque show.
3. Devils Point
5305 SE Foster Road, 503-774-4513, devilspointbar.com.
Devils Point advertises itself as "Portland's Rock-'n'-Roll Strip Club," though really, it's harder to find a strip club in town that doesn't cater to the rocker crowd. Still, this deep-red cubbyhole leans into the idea harder than most. Dancers are as likely to take the lone stage in beat-up Vans as platform heels, the soundtrack ranges from Pantera to the Sugarcubes, and the bar area is decorated like it's permanently Halloween.
4. Funhouse Lounge
432 SE 11th Ave., 503-841-6734, funhouselounge.com.
The infamous Clown Room has all the ambience of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre house and is unquestionably one of the worst places to take a coulrophobic friend. But it's a charming, campy place to catch comedy, karaoke, live music and other forms of performance regularly.
5. Rimsky-Korsakoffee House
707 SE 12th Ave., 503-232-2640.
This iconic monument to classic Portland weirdness is beloved for its bizarre, eclectic interior, with a nautical-themed restroom and coffee tables that move. (Can you find the one that slowly sinks toward the floor?) There's no alcohol on the menu, but order the chocolate raspberry fool dessert and ask yourself if it really matters.