On July 1, recreational weed became legal in Oregon. One of the things that means is that everyone can now legally grow up to four marijuana plants. Here at Willamette Week, we were so excited that we decided to have an old-fashioned office grow-off. All of our plants started the same size and they are all the P-91 strain, but each department elected to grow its plants in different ways.
See previous installments of our weed growing journey here.
The office weed plant grow-off has passed the halfway point, so now is a good time to compare the size of each plant. In order to bring some scale to the pictures, I've enlisted the help of bobblehead Dwight Schrute whose normal home is on the divider between the desks of News editor Aaron Mesh and the News interns. Each plant's height will be described in "Schrutes," the length of one bobblehead. Height is a less-than-perfect measurement tool for the overall size and production capacity of a plant, but how could I pass up measuring things in "Schrutes?"
While only measuring 7.2 Schrutes, Candis is actually a very densely foliated plant that will likely produce a hefty harvest of bud. No, I'm not one of those parents who tries to explain how their mediocre, boring, works-hard-for-middling-SAT-scores child is actually brilliant to anyone and everyone who will listen. Why do you ask?
By climbing up toward the skylight that offers the majority of his light, Reggie has extended to a respectable 8.1 Schrutes. Luckily Reggie still suffers from that bizarre three-pointed leaf condition, so there's still reason to marginalize and denigrate him and his caretakers. What a freak, amiright?
Sales put Bootsy in the closet with Addi in an attempt to induce flowering through Addi's lighting schedule. This may be a good decision for her flowering, but it's not great for her ego. Measuring in at 9.5 Schrutes, it would be easy to think Bootsy is a major contender for the office title. Until you look past her and realize that impassible jungle occupying the rest of the room is not a commercial bamboo farm, but rather one single Volkswagon-sized weed plant.
Addi is that Volkswagon-sized weed plant. It's here that the Schrute unit starts to really show how poor of a measurement tool it is. Addi is over 15 Schrutes tall, and yet she is another 15 Schrutes wide and her foliage is incredibly dense. Poor Bootsy looks like a toy by comparison.
As is the case with Addi, the Schrute fails to accurately summarize Liz's size and development. Events halted Liz's growth by changing the schedule of her lighting which threw her into the flowering stage. While Liz is only 10 Schrutes tall, some of her buds are already nearing a full Schrute in length.
Oscar measures a diminutive 4.3 Schrutes. I've talked a little bit about how pot plants move from a growth phase–in which they put their energy into producing branches and leaves–to a flowering phase where the energy goes to flowering. Oscar, unfortunately, doesn't really seem to be in either stage. He's mostly just hanging out. Chillin. Being tiny.