What Were the 11 Greatest Tweets From "Not Ted Wheeler Googling"?
A parody account so viciously funny it's followed by the mayor's chief of staff, "Not Ted Wheeler Googling" pretends to be a collection of phrases the Portland mayor has typed into the Google search function. These 11 tickled us. NIGEL JAQUISS.

1. Oct. 11:
"is it safe for wealthy mayors to use trimax"

2. Nov. 15:
"how to end mayoral term early without resigning"

3. April 12:
"chloe eudaly michael cohen"

4. Nov. 6:
"feasibility of giving no bureau assignment to loretta hardesty"

5. Nov. 20:
"what does ppb stand for"

6. June 19:
feasibility of tariffs on east portland"

7. June 15:
"is willamette week a parody of
the oregonian"

8. Oct. 23:
"how to keep doing nothing while looking like a leader"

9. Nov. 8:
"how is violating the first amendment considered unconstitutional"

10. Dec. 5:
"politically correct ways to lash out at reporters"

11. Nov. 15:
"non profit gigs for ex mayors"

(@CommishFish / Twitter)
(@CommishFish / Twitter)

What Were the Greatest Victories for Oregon LGBTQ+ Rights in 2018?

1. House Bill 2673 simplifies the birth certificate amendment process so that Oregon-born residents need only pay $60 and get a notary stamp to change the name and gender listed on their legal document.

2. The city renames a 13-block portion of Southwest Stark Street to Harvey Milk Street, in honor of the famous civil rights activist and nation's first openly
gay elected official.

3. The American Civil Liberties Union of Oregon fights two cases of LGBTQ discrimination at Oregon high schools in court and wins.

4. The Portland Police Bureau promotes the first transgender lieutenant, Stephanie Lourenco, to the rank of captain.

5. The nation's first openly bisexual governor, Kate Brown, wins re-election.

6. The first U.S. veteran to secure military burial rights with her same-sex spouse is buried alongside her wife at Portland's Willamette National Cemetery. ELISE HERRON.

What Were the 6 Greatest Places E-Scooters Were Discovered During Their Four-Month Foray Into Portland?

1. Sidewalks.

2. The Willamette River.

3. Atop street signs.

4. In trees.

5. In dumpsters.

6. Smashed into the door of a Subaru after riders ran a red light.

What Were the Five Greatest Billboards of 2018?

1. "Yes, There Are Black People In Portland." A helpful November reminder along Northeast Martin Luther King Jr. Boulevard from breakout rap star Aminé. Of course, he isn't one of them—the Benson alum lives in L.A. now.

2. "LeBron, Dame Needs a Third Option." The guys behind the Trillblazin streetwear line managed to raise nearly $3,000 to erect a sign in April on Northeast Broadway effectively trying to neg LeBron James into joining the Trail Blazers. It…didn't work.

3. "Portland…Is Your White Fragility Showing?" The nonprofit Portland Equity in Action—an anonymous racial-justice collective—put up 25 billboards around the city to protest the shooting deaths of young black men, including this one on Southeast Belmont Street. In a very Portland move, in April someone decided to show support for the message by defacing the sign with anarchist slogans.

4. "Seattle Loves Portland, Maine." The decadeslong rivalry between the Timbers and Sounders took another turn this June when the Seattle soccer club posted a sign on Southwest 2nd Avenue declaring their love for the other Portland. For their part, Maine did not appreciate being used as a pawn in a passive-aggressive prank war: The Portland Press-Herald tweeted that they were "not impressed" by the stunt, and the Timbers sent them a signed jersey in response.

5. OkCupid's DTF billboard. This should actually be called "the greatest billboard that never happened." The ad, part of an innuendo-laden campaign from the online dating site and featuring a football and two strategically placed soccer balls, was rejected by the vendors selling the billboard space for being "too phallic." Pity. MATTHEW SINGER.