Dr. Know

The signs say “Tenants Are Armed,” but did not come with any new, special requirements for the tenants.

Was there a Dr. Cyrus Q. Banfield back in the day who became famous as Portland’s first veterinarian? (Spoiler: There wasn’t.)

The mighty atom had just won WWII and was enjoying George W. Bush-right-after-9/11 levels of popularity, while the invention of hippies was still decades away.

A quick Google search for “nonreligious Christmas carols” will turn up reams of playlists specifically designed to help employers fend off objections from the likes of you.

You could certainly post an armed safety inspector at each escalator to maintain the flow of passengers at a safe level.

The main reason for our edificial inadequacy is that there’s a legal limit to how tall a building in Portland can be.

So far, white-nose syndrome hasn’t been detected in Oregon.

Such a premise—that supporting people experiencing homelessness will just attract more of them—is a common one.

You might be tempted to call this price gouging (probably because that’s what it is), but it’s not illegal price gouging.

The main reason inflation isn’t a conspiracy to roll back minimum wage gains is that there’s actually an inflation adjustment built into the law.

Why a French saint and not, say, a beaver with a salmon in its mouth, riding a bear?

What if you go full cowboy and don’t pull permits at all—what’s the worst that can happen?

You don’t have to be Rudy Giuliani to see the opportunity for morally bankrupt opportunism presented by a caveat in the 13th Amendment.

You’d think it wouldn’t be controversial to suggest one solution to a housing shortage is more housing, but I bet I’ll get letters.

If you really want to quantify the weather’s precise degree of moisture-based shittiness, you can use a statistic called “dew point.”