Garrison Keillor was put on Earth to do
one thing: tell stories. This Thursday, you have the chance to watch him
hone his transfixing craft in Portland, without even having to sit
through his dusty Prairie Home Companion skits about private eyes
eating cornmeal biscuits. Unfortunately, the cost of admission (not
including the actual cost of admission, which starts at $40) is
listening to Keillor do another thing. That's right: Garrison Keillor is
going to sing.
This
is a practice he undertakes often, even though—how do I put this
delicately?—he has the voice of an existentially troubled Lutheran toad.
Still, it is one of my life precepts that everybody has a song they can
sing beautifully, even white men who like to wheeze gospel numbers
after sighing meaningfully. In that spirit, here are five songs I would
not mind Garrison Keillor singing to me.
1. âOnce in a Lifetime,â Talking Heads
Just the spoken part. When he got to the
bit about this not being his beautiful wife, I would honestly reconsider
a lot of life decisions.
2. âWave of Mutilation,â The Pixies
3. âRoland the Headless Thompson Gunner,â Warren Zevon
4. âBetween the Bars,â Elliott Smith
People would just be jumping off buildings.
5. âMaking Love Out of Nothing at All,â Air Supply
This would not go smoothly. But having
thought of it, I canât get the idea out of my mind. It would either be
the worst musical performance in human history, or Jesus and the Mahdi
would return simultaneously. Or both. I would probably pay $35 for this.
GO: Garrison Keillor performs at the Arlene Schnitzer
Concert Hall, 1037 SW Broadway, 228-1353, orsymphony.org. 7:30 pm
Thursday, March 8. $40-$125.
Headout Picks
FRIDAY, MARCH 9
NORTHWEST DANCE PROJECT
[DANCE] The company stages The Best of Now,
a spring show featuring three world-premiere works by Nederlands Dans
Theater veteran Patrick Delcroix, Chinese-Canadian choreographer Wen Wei
Wang and NWDP artistic director Sarah Slipper. Newmark Theatre, 1111 SW Broadway, 248-4335. 8 pm Friday-Saturday. $27-$53.
JOHN CARTER
[MOVIES] The director of WALL-E has made a movie about a Civil War veteran hopping across Mars like a Space Jam character. At its worst, itâs the most blithely idiosyncratic sci-fi since The Chronicles of Riddick. At its best, itâs what people wanted from the Star Wars prequels. Multiple locations including Roseway Theater, 7229 NE Sandy Blvd., 282-2898. Multiple showtimes. $9.
SATURDAY, MARCH 10
BUBBLINâ
[MUSIC] The folks behind the monthly
dance parties known as Bubblinâ continue their peerless run of 2012
shows with this bill of all locals. Headlining is Nathan Detroit, a DJ
who favors the sounds of deep house, the offshoot electronic genre that
still relies on 4/4 beats and the steady repetition of melodic ideas but
is shot through with warm, lush undercurrents. Rotture, 315 SE 3rd Ave. 9 pm. $4. 21+. SUNDAY, MARCH 11
AUSTIN UNBOUND
[MOVIES] The Portland Oregon Womenâs Film
Festival tells the story of a man who knew he was supposed to be a boy
ever since he was a little girl. Heâs saying all this with his
handsâtwisting, fluttering and signing a mile a minuteâbecause in
addition to being transsexual, the Portlander is also deaf. More of a
grainy video love letter than a proper film, itâs still an inspiring,
happy-making thing to watch. Hollywood Theatre, 4122 NE Sandy Blvd., 281-4215. 5 pm. $10. MONDAY, MARCH 12
SMALLPRESSAPALOOZA
[BOOKS] In honor of Small Press Month,
Powellâs hosts the fifth Smallpressapalooza, a four-hour marathon of
readings by local writers whose works have been published by small
presses. Readers include Ryan Chin, Martha Grover, Lisa Wells and more. Powellâs City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 228-4651. 6 pm. Free.
BEN WILLIAMS
[MUSIC] With unconfinable young voices
like Ben Williams riffing on the pop of their time, not just a musty old
canon, jazz is once again tapping contemporary pop energy. The bassist
won the prestigious Thelonious Monk International prize in 2009. Jimmy Mak's, 221 NW 10th Ave., 295-6542. 7 pm (all ages) and 9 pm (21+). $15-$20.
WWeek 2015
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