Skip to main contentThere are "she-male" beauty contests, and then there is the Miss Gay Latina Oregon pageant.
For the past few years, this competition has been dragging its sparkly ass across the stage of that illustrious club for cosmetically engineered queers, Darcelle XV.
And, oh, what a show! From technicolor costumes that represented each homo's "homeland" to gowns that looked like they'd just come off a Saks rack in Tijuana, it was, as they say, hot, hot, hot!
It was also the eighth anniversary for my partner and me. That's why I was pleased when our emcee for the evening, Meesha Peru, asked both of us to judge the evening's contest. This is the second time in three years that I've had that honor of bestowing a crown on a reina. And as for my partner, who better to judge Latin manners than a guy with the last name Martinez?
Just prior to the event, I visited with the man behind the made-up muchachos, David Zambrano. A native of Venezuela, this 40-year-old Multnomah County health specialist and part-time dancer/ choreographer also doubles as the director of a real-women version of this showcase called Miss Latina Oregon. As for my fellow judges, they included a current and a former champion drag queen, Kelly Cheval and Tiara Desmond, as well Jim Perillo, a Child Protective Services coordinator who appreciates how events like GLO opens up the queer Latin culture to a broader audience, as well as each other.
"Getting into the (gay Latin) scene is problematic," says Perillo, who has witnessed homophobia in the Latin community in his work and at migrant camps that sprout up around Portland. "Everybody knows everybody else. Gay Latinos end up living two lives."
As for the pageant itself, it was nothing short of spectacular, though short it was: With only four comely contestants, it scooted along, guaranteeing a show that ended way before midnight. Speaking of striking midnight, one of the best performances of the evening was by last year's Miss GLO, Miss Ruby Kay spinning around in head-to-glass-slipper Cinderella drag and yapping on about that "darn clock." Likewise, the evening's competitors each had a magical glow about them, as if their fake fronts had been spruced up by their own fairy god-drag-queens.
Despite the moment when the most inexperienced of the ladies literally flipped her wig during a rocking rendition of a Shakira song, the whole evening was professional. And it was increasingly hard to judge. Mizz Monique Moore had all the polish and grace I think any woman could ever want, as well as a long mane of feathery Heather Locklear-like hair that Tiara Desmond swears was his/her own. (It had to be, the way she swung that sucker around.) As for longtime competitors Tania and Mariela, both of these ladies have enough cojones to keep coming back year after year. Still, both have yet to win. This year, it went to the regally endowed Monique. But watching Tania and the likable Mariela (who is on a winning streak for "Miss Congeniality") eat up the audience's reaction to their performances made me realize that it didn't matter who took home the tiara--it was all just part of the show.
WWeek 2015