Scoop: There's No Such Thing As Style Points.

  1. BOOOORING: Anthony Watson, Nike’s chief information officer and one of the few openly gay senior executives, quit his job last week after only nine months for what he called “personal” reasons on Twitter, spurring heavy speculation in the press. Watson was born in London and previously worked for Barclays in his hometown. According to an anonymous source quoted in Fortune magazine, he left because he was bored with Portland’s social scene. “As a single gay guy from London,” said the source, Watson “underestimated what it would be like. It was a culture shock. And there’s no point in having a great job if you feel unhappy with your surroundings.”  After the Web maelstrom that followed his resignation, Watson explicitly refused all requests for comment but did issue a tweet. “Despite what you might read,” he wrote, “I’ve never said I hate or dislike #Portland or #Beaverton. Both are wonderful cities with amazing people.” He did not say, however, that we weren’t boring.
  1. VORTEX MUSIC: A prophecy has foretold that if the Decemberists, Sleater-Kinney and Modest Mouse all release albums in the same year, a wormhole will open in the space-time continuum and suck Portland back into the mid-2000s. Well, get prepped: Following the announcements that both the Decemberists and the resurrected Sleater-Kinney would put out new records in early 2015, Modest Mouse has confirmed it will also be releasing its first album in eight years in the new year. Strangers to Ourselves is scheduled to hit stores in March. Murmurs began after Modest Mouse joined Instagram and uploaded an image of a 7-inch labeled “Lampshades on Fire,” which turned out to be the album’s first single. No word on whether it’ll include the band’s long-rumored collaboration with Big Boi of Outkast. Meanwhile, both the Decemberists’ What a Terrible World, What a Beautiful World and Sleater-Kinney’s No Cities to Love drop Jan. 20, the closest Portland will come to having a version of the Kanye-50 Cent duel.
  1. BUY A BAR: Two classic Portland bars are up for sale. Owners of the 50-year-old Skyline Tavern are asking $800,000 for their rustic Forest Park bar and an attached one-bedroom. “Someone could continue to grow the business,” says the ad, “or choose to build a home on this stunning Skyline property.” Meanwhile, 30-year-old gay bar Starky’s on Southeast Stark Street—known for its bottomless mimosa brunches—is for sale for $1.3 million, with a listing that declares the location to be “underutilized and ideal for redevelopment with high-density or mixed-use residential/retail.”
  1. WILLAMETTE WINS: Everyone at WW would like to extend hearty congratulations to Aaron Mesh and Martin Cizmar, whose teams advanced to the finals in the office fantasy football league. The two bested valued employees in a spirited season filled with much good-natured guff-giving. Cizmar beat account executive Matt Plambeck 93-91 on Mark Ingram’s late touchdown Monday night. Mesh routed Special Assistant for Promotions and Give!Guide Sam Cusumano 121-102. Both Cizmar and Mesh thank sales director Scott Wagner for his capable service as league commissioner for many weeks after his time as a serious competitor ended.

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