Twelve Portland New Year’s Eve Parties You Can Actually Go To

The doable dozen.

(Thomas Teal)

MUSIC

Ural Thomas & the Pain, Aw Mercy, DJ Void
If you've had the pleasure of sweatin' to the oldies at an Eagles Lodge soul night, it's easy to imagine how rowdy a New Years Eve party hosted by WW's 2014 Best New Band recipient Ural Thomas & the Pain will get. Fraternal Order of Eagles, 4904 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 503-232-7505. 8 pm. $20. 21+.

Battle of the Decades II
Watch members of Blitzen Trapper, Sleater Kinney, the Jicks and others assemble a quartet of cover bands to play hits from the '50s, '60s, '70s and '80s in hopes of finally solving which decade rules them all. Bunk Bar, 1028 SE Water Ave., bunksandwiches.com. 9:30 pm. $20. 21+.

Farewell to Metal: Ditch Digger, Sustainer, Bewitcher, Shelter Red, Othrys, DwarfGiant, Veio
Often overshadowed in the annals of downtown's music scene by Satyricon and Berbati's Pan, Ash Street Saloon carved its own place in history by booking genre-spanning live acts of all calibers 363 days a year. Celebrate its final night with a bang, as a king's ransom of local metal acts will push the venerable Old Town club's soundsystem to its limit one last time. Ash Street Saloon, 225 SW Ash St., 503-226-0430, ashstreetsaloon.com. 7 pm. $10. 21+.

Anjali & the Kid, Orquestra Pacifico Tropical
Shake off a truly terrible calendar year with the Bhangra and Bollywood sounds of DJ Anjali & the Incredible Kid, the two-time "Best DJ" recipients of Willamette Week's annual "Best of Portland" poll. Show up early for Orquestra Pacifico Tropical, the Northwest's hottest new cumbia orchestra that slayed in 2017 and is poised for a party-starting takeover in the following year. Melody Ballroom, 615 SE Alder St., 503-232-2759,  melodyballroom.com. 9 pm. $25-$35. 21+.

FOOD AND BEER

Deadshot and Shipwreck at Stacked
If the opportunity to try Deadshot or Shipwreck eluded you this year, here's a golden opportunity to experience the standout cocktail pop-ups under the roof of Gabriel Pascuzzi, the head chef of Stacked Sandwiches who was named 2017 chef of the year by Eater. Stacked Sandwich Shop, 1643 SE 3rd Ave., 971-279-2731, stackedsandwichshop.com. 8 pm. No cover. All ages.

New Year's Eve at Departure
We had to include one fancypants excursion on this list, and it doesn't get much fancier than a 9-course meal at the preferred rooftop Asian fusion restaurant of wayfaring NBA players as they roll through town. Show up early for one of tasting menus, one of which is vegan, or swing by later for a snazzy soirée that includes a champagne toast and DJ Ana Sia on the decks. Departure, 525 SW Morrison St., 503-802-5370. $120-$180 for party and chef's tasting menu, $60 for the party. 21+. departurerestaurant.com.

Breakside Ball
It's been a banner year for Breakside since opening their opulent new Slabtown digs back in March. The celebrated brewery will be hosting a capstone party of sorts for New Year's Eve, which is slated to involve a karaoke room, a silent disco, live music from the Kinky Brothers and a complete shutdown of NW Raleigh St. to account for the inevitable spillage of revelers from the brewpubs legal confines. Breakside Slabtown, 1570 NW 22nd Ave., 503-444-7597. 8 pm. $35 for general admission. 21+. breakside.com.

Pix Patisserie New Year's Eve Chocolate Buffet
New Year's is for bubbles and indulgence. Well, welcome to Pix, home to the best champagne selection in maybe the country, plus a ridiculous midnight chocolate buffet that's free with drinks: chocolate cake, meringue, truffles, whatever. Pix Patisserie, 2225 E Burnside St.,  971-271-7166, pixpatisserie.com.

COMEDY

Matt Braunger
If laughing at the pitfalls of being socially awkward and prematurely middle-aged sounds far more appealing than being crammed into a club with overdressed strangers, the self-deprecating everyman humor of Portland's own Matt Braunger is exactly what you need this New Year's Eve. Helium Comedy Club, 1510 SE 9th Ave., 888-643-8669, 8 pm; 10:30 pm. $39-$64. 21+. portland.heliumcomedy.com.

Lez Standup
2017 was an absolute nightmare for anyone with two X chromosomes, but that hasn't stopped some of comedy's biggest names from making a mockery of the dumpster fire that's threatened to envelop the country's marginalized people whole. Join Caitlin Weierhauser, Wendy Weiss and others for a night of laughs that's sure to get your mind off the doozy that 2018 is poised to be. The Siren Theater, 315 NW Davis St., sirentheater.com. 7 pm. $10. All ages. sirentheater.com.

OTHER?

Lumbertwink
Whether you're foraging for a forest-dweller or just looking for an excuse to break out the cut-off flannel and the beard oil, Lumbertwink's 4th annual New Year's Eve party is your go-to event for a burly evening of beers, beats and bearded bros. Analog Cafe and Theater, 720 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 503-206-7439. 8 pm. $10 if you're sporting plaid, $15 without. 21+. analogpdx.com.

1LB SmokeOut New Year's Celebration
Opposed to alcohol but still in the market for a social event where you can get crunk with your crew? Head to the NW Cannabis Club for a sophisticated evening of dabs and doobies courtesy of local purveyors like Terpene Station, Rel Vapes and High Desert Pure. NW Cannabis Club, 1195 SE Powell Blvd.,
503-206-4594. $5 for a one-day membership. 21+. nwcannabismarket.com.

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