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LAUGH: Love Isn’t Blind
The most genius (beyond genius, really…inspired is more like it) idea for a dating show is back in Portland. Love Isn’t Blind is a nationally touring dating show where…drum roll please…the men can’t speak…like, at all (inspired, right?). Instead, they silently compete onstage for one bachelorette—they complete a series of trials, host Allison Goldberg calls the guys’ moms—before one winner is sent off with the bachelorette to the Helium Club Comedy bar for an immediate date. Oh! And if you’re in the audience, prepare to don a wristband revealing your “relationship status and preferences.” My personal preference would be silence. Helium Comedy Club, 1510 SE 9th Ave., 503-583-8464, loveisntblind.co. 7:30–10:30 pm Wednesday, Aug. 6. $33.99.
GO: PDX Live Concert Series
If you’ve yet to attend the city’s PDX Live Concert Series, this might just be the year to make it happen. Throughout August, iconic musicians like Men I Trust, Shakey Graves, Snail Mail, STRFKR, Phantogram, and Royel Otis grace the Pioneer Courthouse Square stage. Hypothetically, you could see Royel Otis (tonight), Dinosaur Jr. and Snail Mail (Thursday night), Jamie xx (Friday night), and Waxahatchee (Saturday night) this week if you really wanted to. And why wouldn’t you? Pioneer Courthouse Square, 701 SW 6th Ave., pdx-live.com. See website for showtimes, through Sunday, Aug. 21. Ticket prices vary.
GO: Elephant Garlic Festival
Fancy yourself a garlic connoisseur? Yeah, we know…we can smell ya from here. But really, we’re not entirely sure you can declare yourself a true garlic-head until you’ve attended the Elephant Garlic Festival in North Plains, Oregon. Just a 30–minute drive from Portland lives Stinkee, the mascot for the 27th annual festival. The large, elephant-garlic hybrid creature invites you to: meet “The Oregon Reptile Man” (aka some guy named Richard), embark on a bulbous parade through the town, support the North Plains library at its annual book sale, attend a car show and, of course, sample various garlic-centered dishes. Head to funstinks.com (love) for more info! Jessie Mays Community Hall and Park, 30975 NW Hillcrest St., funstinks.com. Noon–11 pm Friday, 10 am–11 pm Saturday, 10 am–4 pm Sunday, Aug. 8–10. Free.
GO: Amplify PDX
What do you get when more than 20 of “Portland’s most visionary” (truly, though) nonprofits link up outside of the Open Signal Community Media Center? Amplify PDX: a citywide community resource block party and fundraiser that offers Portlanders a chance to connect with mission-driven organizations—such as Imagine Black, Friends of Noise, and Black & Beyond the Binary Collective—working across a wide range of issues, including racial justice, immigrant rights, youth empowerment, creative economy, cultural sovereignty, and gender liberation. Open Signal: Portland Community Media Center, 2766 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., community.opensignalpdx.org. 1–7 pm Saturday, Aug. 9. Sliding scale starting at $20.
SHOP: Saturday Market x Pacific Pug Rescue PUGapalooza
This isn’t your average Saturday Market. This is a Saturday Market x Pacific Pug Rescue PUGapalooza collab. To celebrate National Dog Month, Pacific Pug Rescue will be out in full force at the waterfront this Saturday—we’re talking photo booths, a Prettiest Pug Pageant (the theme is “Pugs on Vacation,” in case you want to preregister your prettiest pug, btw), Pug Prize Packages, and more. Show out to support the rescue, rehabilitation and rehoming of local pugs and pug mixes in need. Tom McCall Waterfront Park, 98 SW Naito Parkway, portlandsaturdaymarket.com. 10 am–5 pm Saturday, Aug. 9. Free.
GO: Old Baby Pageant 2025
If you’re lacking in the “pretty pugs on vacation” department, perhaps you can try your hand at a different, altogether boozier pageant. OK, so, you know that Old Baby you see around at the local bars sometimes? The one with the long beard and the baseball hat? Who kinda looks like your friend John? Well, apparently the Old Baby mascot looks like a lot of people. And after hearing this from numerous sources, the brilliant babies at Old Baby decided to put said claims to the test. That’s right, babies, this Monday is The Inaugural Old Baby Pageant 2025. Could you (or your friend John) be crowned the 2025 Inaugural Old Baby? This Monday, a panel of esteemed judges like Poison Waters will decide. Alberta Abbey, 126 NE Alberta St., albertaabbey.org. 7–10 pm Monday, Aug. 11. $17.86. 21+.
EAT: Portland Burger Week
In order to give you ample time to prepare yourselves, your stomachs, and your wallets…we’re plugging Portland Burger Week a little over a week early. Yeah, you’re welcome! Our friends at Portland Mercury have been Burger Week-ing it up since 2013, and this year’s lineup includes a whopping (get it like…Whopper) 102 locales across the PDX area. There’s tons to try, but just to get your appetite going, we’re seeing: a chili cheese fry burger, a buffalo blue cheese burger, a green chili chorizo burger, an elote burger, a Chicago dog burger, a jalapeño popper burger…OK, OK, we’ll let you discover the rest for yourself! Various locations across the city, everout.com. Monday–Sunday, Aug. 11–17. $10.
